Via

Hi Jamie-- I don't want to read a poem with the same word at the beginning of every other line. I want to read something that varies and is poetic. ...

Hi wolves-- It's kind of cute, but there is no point to it? I think the rhyme ran it more then it should have. Don't let rhyme take over your ...

Hi Raptured! Welcome to the YWS! Hope you are enjoying it so far! This really isn't too bad. The word choices make it nice to the ear. One thing that ...

Hi TP-- A few things can improve this: 1. Capitalize 'i'. Proper grammar is very important to a piece, be it poetry, fiction, nonfiction, a title of a photograph, a ...

Hi gg-- A few things will make this better: 1. Capitalize your 'i's and such. Improper grammar, netspeak, etc. will be the first thing to turn people away. 2. Use ...

Hi FITS-- Ofour hit on most of this, so I won't repeat his. But, I will add a few of my own! 1. Punctuation!! I am so fed up with ...

Please Please Please Please Please don't start every line with the same word. Really, it's very obnoxious and it's like making us read a tongue twister. Plus it does nothing ...

Hi! Welcome to the YWS! Please take a moment to look at the Rules & Guides . We do ask that you make at least two reviews of others work ...

Hi! Welcome to YWS! Please take a moment to look over the Rules & Guides . We do ask that you do two reviews of others work before posting everyone ...

Things to do to improve this poem and all future poetry: 1. Use punctuation. 2. Do not bold words. 3. Do not s e p a r a t e ...

This doesn't really strike me as lyrics. "Stupid" and "retarded" are not the same thing as you are using them here. However, they are also not words you really want ...

Cade has hit the nose right on the button. (...can that happen? :)) -Don't bold a poem. It's pointless and annoying to the reader. -Don't hit enter between every line. ...

Hi gg-- Then one day i felt strange. Felt strange in the pit of my stomach It felt real stange There is no way to explain it. It was this ...

Hey yoyo! Well, really it's not a bad poem. It's got some good imagery and some outside references and that is wonderful. However, while I'm reading it I feel very ...

spin the wheel, notched and loaded. notched and loaded are past tense, 'spin' should be as well...spun 'course. A twisted statistical quandary with a marble which could land on alternating ...