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Re: Falling Asleep
"Falling Asleep" has some good parts and some weak parts. The first stanza definitely left me with a positive impression, as it could have been so easily overwritten but you ...
Nov 13, 2011 -
Re: Green Flowers
I have been waiting to find a poem about revolution! This is a great and powerfully expressed piece of writing.The first stanza very much reminds me of the poet James ...
Nov 12, 2011 -
Re: Trouble Came to the Turnip
This is a brilliant example of abstract/minimalist writing and is open to interpretation in so many ways. I feel you could work on the overall structure however, as the lack ...
Nov 12, 2011 -
Re: One plus One = Son
"One plus One = Son" has a genuine voice in it-as a parent would speak to their child. This sort of thing happens very often, two adults having an unexpected ...
Nov 11, 2011 -
Re: Disconnection
Hi Camron, If I had to make a presumption it would be that you are not new to poetry because this is a very well structured piece of writing. Your ...
Nov 9, 2011 -
Re: Insomnia
It amazes me how many personal similarities this poem reminded me of in myself. I often stay awake, trying to write, unable to sleep, feeling like the day has been ...
Oct 10, 2011 -
Re: A Letter to the Rapist
This is definitely a topic that would scare away most poets, especially because of its taboo subject and the element of family criminality. I think that you have suceeded to ...
Oct 9, 2011 -
Re: Eyewitness
Your poetic style is very interesting to read and there is a strong clarity to the piece. Most of the lines were well structured and as a result there was ...
Oct 8, 2011 -
Re: Running From the Devil
Hi :) Firstly, well done on writing this poem, "Running from the Devil" tackles an important issue of existence and the boundaries we all sometimes cross. Nobody in the comments ...
Sep 23, 2011 -
Re: To Define Suffering
Maddy... The poem's strength was that it was literal, non ambiguous and very easy to relate to. Many people could benefit from 'looking more closely' and not judging others solely ...
Sep 23, 2011 -
Re: The Fox's Hunt
I really like your rhyme scheme because it sounds very natural and unstressed. Probably the only line that doesn't sound right is "time seeming to slow". Part of the issue ...
Sep 18, 2011 -
Re: Cancer
I found this poem very special because I have recently had a family member in a serious condition in hospital. You have a very good use of metaphors etc and ...
Sep 18, 2011 -
Re: no name
Man, I definitely felt certain aspects of this poem were effective. Lines such as "the clean smell of winter Falls between the cracks" were good because the imagery reminded the ...
Sep 18, 2011 -
Re: We Are
Overall this poem had the great strength of pervasive imagery. Indeed when writing about a dream, we sometimes remember vividly every sense that 'existed' during that dream. I would like ...
Sep 18, 2011
