Twit

I think you're taking the subject matter too seriously. Eragon meets Star just can't be serious. Most of the cross-overs like this that I've read treat the whole thing as ...

Achingly nastily well writ. And that's all I can say. Sorry. :(

Sorry........................................it's still squashed up in some places, and you're missing some quotation marks, and there's some grammer mistakes as well. Sorry, but proof read this at le

This seemed the only place to put it, really. Put it in the Other Fiction forum, and everyone would be shouting, "The point? Where's the point of this?? This is ...

But it ain't fine on heeeeeere, and here is where it counts! And perhaps a little less dialogue? Less dialogue, more description, aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand............*whispers* more, more, more *shouts* SPAC

Chapter Three: Clues and Shoes. The game refused to be afoot, or exciting, for several days. Mostly, we - Wiggins, Rat, me, and the others - went looking in the ...

Hey, Alanna, my main man. SPACE. THIS. OUT.

Helloooo? Alanna, is it impossible for you to space anything of your's out properally?! Sorry, but whenever I see anthing of your's, its all squashed up, making it impossible to ...

This was very good! I can't zigackly crit it, but I thought the message put across was very well put. -ST

Woo, soppy-extreme!! It's very descriptive, and nicely written, but a bit too mushy for my liking. -ST

Um, the point of this? I might be missing something here, but I like to have plot. This actually happened? -ST

Chapter Two: Peppermints and the Past Myers eyed the body of Mr Stone with evident distaste. "Disgusting. Most unpleasant. Very much so." He circled the corpse, his head on one ...

Where is it?!?!?! You need to type it in here, not put the link to the folder!

No, I don't live in London. I live further south by the coast. The descriptions of the setting are really gathered through extensive watching of films of Dickens adaptations and ...

Can you space this out? The spaces dividing up the dialogue are in all the wrong places, and frankly, as it's mostly all dialogue, it needs to be spaced out ...