Entering a dimly lit cantina Jaina Solo, looks around and mumbles, “Can my life get any worse?” Of course it can, a voice in her head replies. “Kyp said to meet him here at 1700 and he’s not here, I missed seeing Jacen off for this?”
Now singing, Because you Live, give it up for the Rogue.” “Ladies and gentlemen, I was just informed that Jaina Solo is in the crowd.”
Making her way to the stage, she pastes a smile on her face. “Jaina, what are you doing here?” “Umm, Kyp Durron told me to meet him here.” “Well, you’re in for a treat with the Rogue.” “Thank you.” Sitting down she impatiently wait for the Rogue to come on stage, then her mouth drops. Kyp, she whispers not really believing that he’s the Rogue.
He nods in reply and begins to sing.
“Staring out at the rain with a heavy heart
It's the end of the world in my mind
Then your voice calls me back like a wake up call
I've been looking for the answer
Somewhere
I couldn't see that it was right there
But now I know what I didn't know
Because you live and breathe
Because you make me believe in myself when nobody else can help
Because you live, girl
My world has twice as many stars in the sky.
Is this song for me, she wonders as she looks up at Kyp.
He nods and she jumps on stage. “Kyp?” He doesn’t answer but he sings looking directly at her.
It's alright, I survived, I'm alive again
Cuz of you, made it though every storm
What is life, whats the use if your killed inside
I'm so glad I found an angel
Someone
Who was there when all my hopes fell
I wanna fly, looking in your eyes
Because you live and breathe
Because you make me believe in myself when nobody else can help
Because you live, girl
My world has twice as many stars in the sky
Because you live, I live
“Was that a proposal, Kyp?” “Yes, Jaina Solo.”
“Yes!” “Really?” Instead of answering, she sings:
Because you live, there's a reason why
I carry on when I lose the fight
I want to give what you've given me always
“Jaina Solo, Thank you.” Smiling at each other; they finish the looking directly at each other.
Because you live and breathe
Because you make me believe in myself when nobody else can help
Because you live, girl
My world has twice as many stars in the sky
Because you live and breathe
Because you make me believe in myself when nobody else can help
Because you live, girl
My world has everything I need to survive
Because you live, I live, I live
Then, Jacen, Tahiri, Anakin, Mara Jade, Luke Skywalker, Tenel Ka, Han, and Leia Solo step out of the crowd.
“What are you guys doing here?’
“Listening to you and Kyp sing.”
“Well since every body’s here I guess we can tell them.”
“Tell us what, Jaina?”
“Kyp and I are engaged, Dad.”
“Congrats, Kid.”
“Thanks, Han.”
“Why, Jaina" , her brother asks. Jaina doesn’t answer but everyone knows what she’s thinking.
Because you live and breathe
Because you make me believe in myself when nobody else can help
Because you live, girl
My world has twice as many stars in the sky
Because you live and breathe
Because you make me believe in myself when nobody else can help
Because you live, girl
My world has everything I need to survive
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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Original Text:
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
But it ain't fine on heeeeeere, and here is where it counts! And perhaps a little less dialogue? Less dialogue, more description, aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand............*whispers* more, more, more *shouts* SPACE!!!!
Please?
-ST
I check it on word and it's fine!!!
This is, again, okay.
I have two suggestions. SPACE. And I thought the dialogue during the song was a little weird.
If you edit and SPACE, it could be really good.
~Pyx
Hey, Alanna, my main man. SPACE. THIS. OUT.