Twit

Good, but your style is too broken up, with too many short sentances. I'm in favour of a few short ones here and there, but not too many. She held ...

Interesting! I read the original tale thru the link you gave for the contest, and I must say, I prefer your retelling of it. :) Less frustrating with all the ...

Funny, but very abrupt. The title goes well with it, but aparently the "We'll always have Paris" is from a Bogart film which I have not seen, so cannot appreciate. ...

I'd heard of Artemis Fowl and thought, like a lot of now fav things, "Yeah, whatever". Then I read on someone's profile on about how great the books were, and ...

Alright, I take it back, it *is* fantasy and in first person. :wink: Vampires aren't my fav in fantasy, so I haven't read any books with them in. *waves cross, ...

Yup, you sincerely need to give this a thorough proof read. It's swarming with grammatical errors. On the other hand, it was interesting and original! Mice don't seem to get ...

Very good! Great, in fact, and I don't often say that. Because I'm me.... tee hee. Anyway, I do like this sentance a LOT: I am that shriveled corncob doll...but ...

:roll: I thought Natalie was being nasty and all. Got used to her being nasty... I want her to STAY nasty!!! :twisted:

Ouchie. But perhaps you could have made it a bit more ouchie? I dunno, but this was very good! :D Enigma did a very good nitpick, so I retreat. :D ...

Very good! :D The story's fine, and your grammer seems sound. “Battle wounds?” the shadow asked dryly, coming out of the shadows towards Cadenza so that it was apparent that ...

Nice - very. Can't comment, but the clock was good. (Borrowers in the background, how.... fitting? Ironic? Weird? Dichotomisationing?) I think "stalk" is alright. Cats stalk. Walk haughtily. You could

Oooh, morbid. But good. *sighs* Too good. I entered the Duel as well! Don't be so good!! I didn't see any corrections - other peeps have done that anyway. :) ...

Oh MAN, they got her off!!! Yahzoo! And foreshadowing..... dun-dun-dun-dun-dun.... In a way, I think that's right. What Jamie's been through can't be resolved by a simple "not guilty". " ...

Inky's said everything needful. :roll: Should I be happy or annoyed at that, Inkster? :wink: Anyways, I'd just point out that you don't seem to be taking comments on board. ...

Deerahmah! :mrgreen: “You know were going to die here, right?” Jhere looked at Khor through the haze of the rain. Were = we're “ Yea . I know,” replied Khor ...