TickSeed

Since OceanofStars already adressed most of the major issues with this piece, I'll just expand upon some things. Most likely you have spent your entire life being told that the ...

Hello, first off, the story has a intresting concept (I've always been very intrested in the multi-verse theory.) But you could have definately excuted this better. Now, obviously your writing ...

Hello. I would like you to know I'm totally in love with your writing and look forward to reading more! Now on to something useful. -Paragraph breaks. There are certain ...

Katiehorsie already covered all the grammer, so I won't go into that. I would like to add a couple of nitpicky things. First off, I love commas, I use them ...

Going along with what FakeCrow mentioned, the formatting of the story makes it a bit diffcult to read. Having the words in both bold and italics actually made me feel ...

I really like this. It's poetic and honest. To me, it almost seems to a lyrical quality because of the way you have things flow. The only thing that I ...

This seems like it will lead to be a very cute and funny sort of story. But there are always ways to improve! Honestly, there just some little nit picky ...