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Let it Burn

by AshleyLynn


Chapter One

Did you know scintilla means a spark or a very small thing? Well that scintilla can grow to be a huge wild fire. One that tears through a whole town and destructs everything in it's path. It can grow to be ruthless and deadly. Or it could grow to be a bonfire on a beautiful night with ones you love. But that bonfire, the one that seems harmless could grow to be that monster of a wildfire. But momma's always tell their children not to play with fire, not that they always listen.

Teenagers are under rated. They put up with more bullshit than you could imagine. They have so much pressure on them and standards to look up to. School, family, friends, jobs, college, relationships. Their bosses, parents, friends, lovers, spectators, teachers, peers, all ask so much of them. They don't have that much to give. They need a little life to live too. You can't take the best years of their lives from them without expecting some sort of retaliation.

When something horrible happens to anybody, you shouldn't ask anything of them. They need their space, don't take that from them. Let them be, let them cry or be angry. Don't smother them in all things rainbows, bright and kittens. If they want their world to be full of grey storm clouds, crying and sad songs then allow it. Time heals all, not you.


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94 Reviews


Points: 5588
Reviews: 94

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Mon Jul 02, 2012 9:17 pm
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Eliza:) wrote a review...



First of all, I want you to know that this is a good piece. I'm not sure how you're planning to make this into a novel, but it could make a great prologue. You definitely hook the reader with this beginning.

The chapter is a little short, but as long as you include the main character and setting in the next chapter, it should be fine.

Well that scintilla can grow to be a huge wild fire.

"Wild fire" should be one word.


But that bonfire, the one that seems harmless could grow to be that monster of a wildfire.

There should be a comma between "harmless" and "could."

But momma's always tell their children not to play with fire, not that they always listen.

"Momma's" should be "mommas."

Teenagers are under rated.

"Under rated" should be one word.

School, family, friends, jobs, college, relationships. Their bosses, parents, friends, lovers, spectators, teachers, peers, all ask so much of them.

You don't need "friends" twice.

They need their space, don't take that from them.

This is a run-on sentence. The comma after "space" should be a period.

I agree with TickSeed. This piece is very poetic. I can't wait to see the next chapter.




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7 Reviews


Points: 823
Reviews: 7

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Mon Jul 02, 2012 6:04 am
TickSeed wrote a review...



I really like this. It's poetic and honest. To me, it almost seems to a lyrical quality because of the way you have things flow. The only thing that I can really pick on is the opening sentence. For some reason, it seems clunky and clumsy compared to the wonderful prose of the rest of the piece.

Although, it's very possible that it's just a "me thing", It's basically been drilled into my head by teachers that starting of a story by adressing the reader is not a good idea.

As in "Did you know..." or "Have you ever....

This is just a suggestion by a nosey nit-picker who should just shut-up but maybe something like:

"Pick up a dictionary and turn to 's' keep looking until you find scintilla. It should say that the definition is a spark or a very small thing. You know what it doesn't say? that it can grow to be a huge wild fire."

But you really should change it if you love it the way it is. Honestly, it's beautiful all by it's self. Maybe just take as a bit of advice for your other work.

I look forward to the rest of the story!





Il faut imaginer Sisyphe heureux (One must imagine Sisyphus happy).
— Albert Camus, The Myth of Sisyphus