-
Re: Misake, Second Half of Part One
It's me again, and again I'm here to tell you this is wonderful. Truly. In my opinion, this particular part is better than the one before it and is closer ...
Jul 3, 2013 -
Re: Misake, First Half of Part One
Hi again, KLovelace! I give you all the props for transitioning from third to first person and fantasy to almost realistic as well as you have here. I've tried it ...
Jul 3, 2013 -
Re: Misake, Prologue
Hi, KLovelace! I started reading the first half of part one for this, realized there was a prologue, and stopped a moment to glance over it. When I saw it ...
Jul 3, 2013 -
Re: Don't Take the Highway
Hi, LJM368! This is an excellent piece, even if a bit too short as Ignorance has already said. It has a lot of potential and would excel if you were ...
Jul 3, 2013 -
Re: Fly Away
Hi, ClaireAura! This is great, very emotional. My favorite line is "I miss talking to you because when I did I'd watch the world around me in slow motion." I ...
Jun 12, 2013 -
Re: Black and White [3]
Hi again! Love this, still. I still can't quite get over the level of writing above; but I will set that aside to review. I agree with much of what ...
Jun 11, 2013 -
Re: Ember
Hello, lovethelifeulive! Interesting spin. I haven't seen the new Snow White and the Huntsmen, so I can't judge whether it is similar as the reviewer before me did; so I'm ...
Jun 10, 2013 -
Re: Finite Immortality-The Beginning
Hey, starlinks! Welcome to YWS! I really like this. You add a certain spin to it with the humor, and I can see it going places one day. I especially ...
Jun 9, 2013 -
Re: Black and White [2]
For the first time in a long time, I don't know what I could possibly say about this piece other than it's amazing. You have wonderful word choice and syntax, ...
Jun 8, 2013 -
Re: Fallen - Unfinished First Chapter
Hi, therealme! This is great. You have wonderful diction and craft your sentences together in a nearly eloquent way. I enjoyed reading it. The only thing I have to say ...
Jun 8, 2013 -
Re: Joining the Stars
Hello there! This is a very interesting piece. It's heavy, but in a way that replaces the depressing aspect of all the characters committing suicide to more of a peaceful ...
Jun 8, 2013 -
Re: The Paths We Walk
Hi, CadhlaRoberts! This is a very interesting idea you have here. At first, it seemed a bit more like an opening to a short story to me, but I really ...
Jun 6, 2013 -
Re: Flickering Like an Angry Old Flame
Hi, lyssiekins! I like this. It's reasonably shorter than some, but it's equally as interesting. I do agree with Deanie, though. I don't know what this is about in its ...
Jun 4, 2013 -
Re: Solo
Hello, speakerskat! I saw that this had only two reviews and thought you could use one more. One can never have too much constructive criticism, right? ;) First of all, ...
Jun 4, 2013 -
Re: Death Flower
This is interesting. I'll be looking forward to seeing more. Other than what has already been said in the previous review, I have one editing suggestion as well. You set ...
Jun 4, 2013
