Tenyo

Hi LJF! I'll be honest, the first half of this didn't do much for me. It's quite focused around dialogue, but the dialogue used is too vague to really mean ...

Hi Ginger! I really like the visual aspect of positioning to show the power play between the characters, it makes the action of stabbing the knife a lot more powerful. ...

Hey AliceinBluue! The thing I particularly love about this is the progression and variation. The overall theme is the same but each verse has a different twist to it. For ...

Hi Ayyitsellie! I actually quite like the opening. It introduces your story as a classic high fantasy and gets straight to the point on what the characters are up to ...

Hey LittleFox! Aw man, this is so good! =D A few little tweaks. In the first line of P2 you refer to the thing as 'it', which is usually a ...

Hi Amethyst101! It would help to have a bit of context to go with this. It looks like some kind of application to study or work? If you're giving a ...

Hi Jellyrose! This is really cute. What I really like, a theme which is only just breaking into modern genres, is that the sexuality of the characters is very casual. ...

Hi Ewolf20! You've got a fair bit of feedback already, but you look like you need a boost and there are definitely some gems in this work to retain during ...

Hi Dest! You're right. This chapter is huge! Were you planning to piece it back together or keep it as separate chapters? Even though there are a lot of people ...

Hi Audy! Quick question: With this being 1.2, in it's lengthier form would 1.1 and 1.2 still be separated or would they follow straight on from another? I've found it's ...

Hi Casanova! This poem has a really nice pace to it. That slow, lethargic drunkenness comes across really well in the rhythm of it. It's an interesting choice not to ...

Hi DragonNoir! This is pretty dark, it has to be said. It started off sounding like a sweet, teenage heartbreak, but those last two paragraphs really brought it home. I ...

Hi Itramsunshine! This is really cute. Generally I'm not a fan of works that involve a person who is born special (call me a cynic,) so normally I wouldn't enjoy ...

Hi Hattable! Aw man, I love the title. It just sounds way too interesting to not read. The opening is great. You've done a really good job at setting the ...

Hi Ineedy0u! I really like the tone of this piece, mainly because I like introspection and you have a lot of it in the beginning. The opening line works really ...