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Re: chapter 1
Hi! I'm Tear! First of all, I thought this was really nice nice! It could have used a bit more detail however. I noticed a lot how you made some ...
May 30, 2011 -
Re: Niveans and Fairy Tales
Hi I'm Tear! One nitpick... He’s a portly old gentleman, simply strolling through the London streets, as if he knows this small piece of the world by heart I thought ...
May 28, 2011 -
Re: The Timewatch
Hi! I'm Tear! Anyhow, it's very short so there's not a lot to critique but I'll try my best! One day,on a summer evening, there sat a girl. The opening ...
May 28, 2011 -
Re: Norm-Chapter One
Hi! I'm Teardrop. First of all I thought this was a good start and has a lot of potential. However, it could have used some editing and a lot of ...
May 12, 2011 -
Re: I'll go wherever you will go
Hi! I'm Teardrop! First of all, I thought this was good, yet it still could be improved. I thought that you could have ellaborated a bit more on emotions and ...
May 7, 2011 -
Re: Fakebook-Chapter 2
Hey, I'm Teardrop! First of all, this was good. I liked it a lot. I haven't read the first chapter, so I'll try and give the best review I can. ...
May 7, 2011 -
Re: we are the dead
Hey, I'm Teardrop! First of all, I really loved this. Really nice imagination, and I thought it was well-written as well. I thought that the girl in your story could ...
May 6, 2011 -
Re: Jamie and Luca page 2
Hi! I'm Teardrop. Okay, so I read the first chapter beforehand, and I think I reviewed it, but I thought I might point out some stuff on this one too. ...
May 6, 2011 -
Re: Teenage Emergency
I really like this! I think a lot of people can relate, and it's really emotional. ^_^ Getting high and feeling low, Cutting deep and breathing shallow, These two lines ...
May 6, 2011 -
Re: The Kingdom of Karta Intro
Hi! I'm Teardrop. First of all, I thought this was an interesting start. The details started out pretty good, but you lost it when you got to the dialogue. Dialogue ...
May 4, 2011 -
Re: What am I?
Hi! I'm Teardrop! First of all, this is really good! Anyway, the one thing I want to say is that it's not nessesary to caritilize the first word of every ...
May 3, 2011 -
Re: Water Under The Bridge Chapter Four: Ryan
Hi! I'm Teardrop! First of all, this is kinda bunched together, try spreading it out a bit more! Anyway, I think you really lack emotion and detail. Really put yourself ...
May 3, 2011 -
Re: Shout it to the World.
Hi! First of all, I thought this was cute and I loved it! It was amusing and kept me focused on reading! Her parents, they watched her and asked if ...
May 2, 2011 -
Re: Kaiden's Poem
Hi! So, first of all this is sad, and I think it's pretty good! I think that you could have used a lot more punctuation, expecially at the end of ...
May 2, 2011 -
Re: raging
Hi! I'm Teardrop! theyre waiting, watching theres nothing i can do im hopeless, powerless, and you are too you see were all just sitting, waiting around were all looking for ...
May 2, 2011
