Niveans and Fairy Tales

He’s a portly old gentleman, simply strolling through the London streets, as if he knows this small piece of the world by heart. Looking to be about sixty or maybe seventy, he is wearing rather outlandish clothes for either his age or the epoch in which the world had landed itself. Think of the Victorian era. Yes, those old waistcoats and the tights, the top hats and the daily dress shoes. The typical self-respective senior citizen would much rather wear neutral colored robes; not attracting attention to oneself is important these days. Think of the old Obe Wan Kenobi from the three later Star Wars movies. It’s the best one can do in this dangerous, frugal world. Fashion’s not exactly a focal point.

This gentleman’s still walking along in his relaxed, observant way. Maybe he is not aware of the reason why our world was so quiet, so tense? No, he would have to be from another galaxy, or have “lived under a rock”, as the other eras would have said. He occasionally stops and gaze at the Victorian gate, or the naval statue on the corner, or perhaps he stops to listen to the silence that now occupies the complex patchwork of London. Big Ben no longer tolls every hour, children no longer laugh and frolic everywhere. It’s a silence that was louder than any explosion I’ve ever heard, and I’ve heard a lot of those.

Watching this comfortable old man in my comfortable little shelter is the most intriguing thing that has happened in my sixteen years of life. Not the most animated, but the most intriguing. I’m tempted to go out and save him from the certain destruction that was to come from being outside without permission. Of course cameras are watching his every move, their lens deciding when the best moment of destruction would be. My guess is in about a minute or so, however harmless the old man seems. The most seemingly harmless people the world had seen had turned out to be the most dangerous, as the galaxy had witnessed firsthand.

Perhaps I should explain all this morbid talk of destruction and death, of silence and watchful cameras, of explosions and dangerous people. I won’t go into super depth, because I don’t enjoy talking outside of my head, but I’ll make it an informational short and sweet summary.

Okay, I’m presuming that you know who Hitler, Fidel Castro, Joseph Stalin, Saddam Hossain, and all these psycho dictators were. And I’m also presuming that you know that some people in this world deserve to be a white padded room all day, every day, for the rest of their lives. They’re crazy, right? These crazy people desperately wanted to bring back dead people for good. Well, they eventually unfortunately managed to get to that point in science where you no longer have ethical boundaries, and you can do everything that people had only imagined in their wildest dreams. Yes, they brought back death. They brought back the dictators I mentioned earlier. Smart, right? Well, they somehow also contacted those sci-fi organisms we call aliens. They invented some type of new radio wave that goes out billions of light years in a second. These aliens saw that these insane people had invented this death reverser ray, and they wanted it. Well, honestly, since all the dictators had come back, they’d banded together and created a master plan to take over the world, since personalities apparently don’t change with death. The aliens’ arrival only inflamed the boundaries of this master plan. The galaxy was now open for taking in these people’s eyes. The people refused the kind offer on the aliens’ part, and there went the stabile, civilized world. Bada bing, bada boom, we got war.

Oh, and guess what? Since the whole aliens theory just had to come true, so did all that mythological and magical stuff; ironically all the religious figures came out too. Stars Wars is true (George Lucas was, in fact, Luke Skywalker. He just pulled “Luke” out of “Lucas”; “Skywalker” was because of his love of parasailing and being in the air. Oh yeah, by the way, the whole Star Wars story was tied in to the aliens-dictator-death thing. The Dark Side was trying to do exactly what had happened to Earth). Lord of the Rings is true (Frodo was J.R. Tolkien’s father’s dear friend. Sam was Tolkien’s brother; he was so ashamed of being a midget in the real world, that he changed his name and went to go live with the friendly Hobbits). Gods and goddesses are true (Zeus, Allah, God, all the main men of the household are all the same guy. He just likes changing his image for the times and people. Everyone else is his relatives. Imagine the family reunions, huh?). Yep, so are fairies, unicorns (those turned into fish that we call narwhales, after a long and complicated evolution sequence for survival), and that genre of life. Need other examples? How about Twilight? Stephanie Meyer was a vampire herself. Apparently the “classic” vampires, like Dracula, and the Twilight vampire types are in a civil war. Their differences are just determined by which type of vampire they were created.

Oh gosh, it was an insane time. The believers were freaking out, the non-believers claimed they must be seeing and hearing things, and the religious people ran around screaming, “Help us, the end of the world is upon us!”. You know what I’m saying. A third of the world, the one with the psychos, was calming watching the chaos that had erupted without them. Not that they minded, but it would have helped their egos a lot more had they been the ones to officially, with a televised declaration, start it all.

Another third of the world was befriending all these magical creatures, making them feel generally at ease with their social nakedness. Believe me, they hadn’t been thought of seriously in a good thousand years, maybe more. Dinosaurs? Dragons. Salem witch trials? Unfortunately, not true witches, but the ones in other trials actually originated from Hogwarts. Yeah, you guessed it: J.K. Rowling was a witch. Not related to any characters, but found her world to be so fascinating, that she decided that the Muggle world would see it as wonderfully tickling fun to imagine a “fantasy” world that you could make something move from across the room using only a stick of wood.

Oh yes, and the last third of the world just took off. Killed themselves, hid underground, performed Anti-Satan rituals and the like, and so on. They disappeared a long time ago, taking most Earthen traditions with them underground, which is where most of them went. The legend says that they still live there, believing that, whoever their religious figure is, put them there. They all have extremely pale features, almost translucent. That’s all the world knows about them, really. We call them Niveans. That’s all that remains of the other world.

That’s really everything that has happened to the world. Ironically, all this coming-out stuff happened on December 21st, 2012. So yes, in a way, it was the end of the world, but it was the end of the world as we knew it, not a complete obliteration of the human race. Yes, the Mayan calendar had told of the exact events of the apocalypse, but in time the actual details were forgotten.

It’s a shame that the world has morphed into such a chaotic and terrible place. How wonderful life must have been, feeling so sure of one’s place in the world. Even though humans haven’t been an especially secure and confident species, we’ve always had at least an idea of what we’re supposed to be. But then, it’s never safe to say that one is perfect, right?