Rose felt her heart break into a million pieces, as she watched her beloved walk out the door. Rose could not bear the pain, yet she still watched him go. All their memories, one by one, in several flashbacks came to her.
Mark came to visit Rose that day because he wanted to tell Rose that he was moving to a different country. Mark could not even look Rose straight in the eyes. When Mark told Rose that he was moving all of her excitement from seeing Mark disappeared and turned into tears. She looked at Mark with her captivating hazel eyes all teary. Mark could not bare seeing Rose cry any longer. He wanted to show her that he was strong, so he didn't cry in front of her. Immediately he hugged Rose and wiped off her tears. After a while Rose stopped crying "I love you," Mark said in a soft comforting voice and released his arms from hugging her. "Good-bye," he said causing every part of his body to ache. Mark walked out that door with tears running down his eyes as if it was a race, wishing that he didn't have to go, and if he had the choice, he wouldn't leave her.
Rose trembled as Mark closed the door. Her knees grew weak, and so did his. As Mark was about to enter the elevator, he stopped and looked back. He wanted to take one last look at her door. To his surprise he saw Rose running towards him.
"Mark I don't care how far we are from each other. I can wait for you to come back," she said while gasping for air. Mark showed his face, his face was filled with tears.
As soon as Rose stopped talking, Mark hugged her. "Rose, I will come back for you, and we can always talk to each other online, I will always love you," Mark said in a soft, tender and secure voice.
Mark entered the elevator and waved good-bye to his Rose, but before the doors closed Rose stopped the elevator doors from closing and went in. She hugged Mark then, suddenly she noticed that tears were coming out of Mark's beautiful blue eyes. She knew that she had to do or say something to make him feel better. "I'm coming with you," Rose whispered with her soft calming voice. Mark's blue eyes was filled with joy. "I'll help you pack," he said while gazing upon Rose like she was the most precious thing in this world.
They went back to her apartment and started packing. And when everything was packed Rose and Mark looked at each other and smiled because they knew that a whole new life was before them. A life that they would share with each other.
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This is edited and improved. Pls comment if I made any mistakes. Critics wanted 
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141,397 Literary Works • 674,387 Reviews
This isn't grammatical stuff or spelling it's just to make it flow better a a story my thoughts are in red !!
All in all really good I just had a few suggestions which you don't even have y
To use if you don't want to
- Jedigeek
I thought it was going to be a sad story, but it turned out to be a nice ending. I enjoyed reading.
Im new here too. HAVE FUN WRITING!
xxx
This is quite a short piece, which leads me to wonder if it could be a potential preface/prologue to a novel. My other point to make at the beginning is that I have not read the other review, so if there is a repeat I'm sorry.
This seems to be quite a tedious ending, and is also quite cliché. I like the idea that he waved goodbye to 'his Rose'. As that is the most feeling this story has had.
Don't forget to show us rater than tell us each emotion, and try to develop the characters more.
Also, make sure to spell-check your posts. This can be done easily in Microsoft Word.
Overall, this could be a good short story, but needs a bit of work.
Good luck
Over
Thank you for your suggestions. I will put some changes
Hi! I'm Teardrop!
The period after I love you should be a comma.First of all, I thought this was good, yet it still could be improved. I thought that you could have ellaborated a bit more on emotions and added depth and vision to your characters. Try and make the reader feel like they're actually there with the characters.
Also, when you start new dialogue, start a new paragraph. Also, you should check out this article about dialogue punctuation- topic44898.html
The period before the quotations should be a comma.
Comma instead of the period after pack.
Okay, when there's dialogue, you simply said "he answered" or "Rose whispered" I think that you could have added a bit more emotion and detail. You know, like exactly how they said it. What it sounded like. Dialogue is a really important part of the story. Overall, nice job! I enjoyed reading~
~Tear
Thank you for your suggestions. I made some changes with it. Pls correct them again if you must
I think that these two sentences would be more smoothly read if you changed the second Rose to 'she'.
But why? Why doesn't he want to show her his softer side? I think that you need to put an extra sentence in here something like. 'No, he wasn't weak. He wouldn't cry in front of her.' Or something like that.
Again, but why? Why did he suddenly turn back? I know what you're getting at here, but I think that adding a sentence to explain why he looked back wouldn't hurt. Something like, 'he heard the soft tapping of shoes on the floor,' would do.
Punctuation goes in the quotation marks. Also, when someone says something, it usually starts on a new line. I think that you can put it like this:
Again with the talking. Things that are said are usually put on the start of a new line.
This seems like a really dull ending. I think you can do better. Give us something more exciting.
Okay, so there's a few commas and full stops missing here. There's also a few misspelled words. I think I have pointed most of them out. But there may have been a few that escaped my notice. This is easily fixed by reading it through once again and keep a sharp look out for them.
Also, I found this story lacking emotions. That is to say, there is emotions, but there's not enough. I think that you may need to focus on how they felt more, describe it more. Tell us and show us.
But overall, not bad. Could be improved on. But, not bad.