Swires

I'm going to second Tim - not really a brilliant poem, I wasn't captivated by it. The topic was vague like the majority of poem and it didn't quite "work"

Havnt read, but sound intriguing.

Ok - where is the 70% from, Brad thing is if we cant understand what its about I dont think the poem works.

Ravenclaw symbol is an eagle, not a Raven. Thanks for the comments. Btw - Leonheart on here thought of the plot with me for this, I just typed it up.

Wow - the rhyme was beautiful and the ending was simply shocking! THis line: And want our young bodies to meet. Seemed odd and a little unflowing. Great poem

A long poem. I thought it was more of a story though. I dont think you have hit the nail on the head here, I didnt like it. It was ...

There wasnt really a pattern here, I wasnt a great fan of it. But if you are a beginner, as Claudette said: the subject/theme is good. Beginners, Including myself usually ...

When you explain it all clicks, however if this was clearer then the poem would be much better. I love it even more now I know its about tatoos. Well ...

Well the dark depressing content was complimented with the jolly, rhyming meter. The two didnt go together well and contradicted each other... I also didnt feel power if their was ...

Thanks for the comments.

Ok, thanks Snoink for your in depth critique. I agree with all your points.

In love poems rhyme is allowed in my book because it makes it that little bit "cuter" and adds a flavour of passion.

Nice link Claudette. Staring- I recommend getting your hands on a Poetry Anthology of some kind, read some Heaney.

Thanks for the comments Claud.

Space out paragraphs - you will get more reviews this way.