Sureal

Thanks guys. ^_^ As always, you've both been loads of help.

0_0 That's almost 10,000 words long. You'll want to split it up into 5-8 different parts and post them sperately, 'cos few people are willing to review something so long ...

Darren becomes all evil and it contradicts everything we've learned about him and it happens to suddenly, its like hes the good guy, all of a sudden he gets mad ...

Thanks for helping me along and reviewing every single piece I posted. You're great. ^_^ Remind me to review a bunch of your stuff in return. =) Also, I find ...

Haha, thanks again. ^_^ The thing about the length: this the just the way the story is split up, so I'm posting each section as I finish it. :P Anyway, ...

It helped loads, as always. Thanks! =) Although, now I'm confused about the was/were thing too. =(

Thanks again. =) I'm toying with the idea of deleting the first part altogether. It's not really important to the plotline, it's just there for some thematic stuff. With it, ...

Thanks for the review again. ^_^ Remind me to buy you a beer one day. ;)

Thank's y'all for your comments. =) Regarding the character: yeah, I can see what you both mean about the narrator's personality. But I'm thinking, at this point, I don't really ...

Thanks for the reivew. =) Don't worry about being too harsh, this is exactly the sort of thing I'm after. I've only got a couple of days to write this ...

O.o - I tells ya. this is a case of you, the writer, recognising that the soldier is overplaying this. In fact, that whole line is you, talking to yourself. ...

Blink: Woah, epic review indeed. 8) You da man, man. You need to post a story sometime, cos I'm starting to feel guilty about getting all these awesome reviews from ...

Looks good. It's concise, opens with a good hook (which will hopefully keep the agent reading beyond the first line) and you've managed to sum up your novel well. Only ...

Thanks all for replying. =) Ailam: I’m glad you enjoyed this. I do fully intend to turn this into a proper story, but it probably won’t be for a little ...

The story carries right on from where the first book ended, so it's better to think of it as a continuation rather than a sequal. If you enjoyed book one, ...