Sureal

Hello 8). ‘and pulled his leathre jacket tighter’ - ‘leathre’ = ‘leather’. ‘Tall pines towered over him, swaying slightly in the bitter wind . He hated to be out in ...

This isn't really formatted like a poem. Rather, it's prose. Something more like: Brothers fighting brothers, dreams crashing down, A frown upon many a noble brow, A battle rages an ...

Yo ^_^. "You fool, what were you thinking. You could have been killed," says a young women. "Only you would be so stupid." She starts to rap a bandage around ...

This doesn't really do anything for me. The repetition at the begining of each line is dull to read (especially as it makes up about half of the entire poem). ...

A couple of things: ‘taking in its glistening wings, and shimmering body.’ - This comma isn’t needed. ‘“Well,” the thing said,’ - I don’t like the ‘the thing said’ bit. ...

Hello ^_^. Just some quick observations: ‘His mind grabbed hold and with his hand moved down until the ladder touched the ground.’ - This is awkward sentence (not helped by ...

This is only an opening paragraph - it could probably do with a bit more ;). I'd say - connect the reader with a character here. Just heaping information on ...

misspriss: Not helpful. Anyways, I'm gonna crit this (simply cos the title caught my attention)... but not right now. I have lottsa science coursework to do. If I happen to ...

‘A man slipping though an open doorway’ - ‘though’ = ‘through’. ‘This is sterling banter, but it doesn’t get us anywhere.’ - I didn’t really like this line. Although, to ...

Hello ^_^. ‘The temperature was falling already, a little bit bitter than before.’ - I don’t like this line. Partly because I don’t like the way ‘bit bitter’ reads, and ...

Although this was probably meant to be written as a summary of the tale, I still didn't feel connected in anyway to it. We're kept at arm's length from the ...

‘Wait for that moment between heartbeats, where everything is perfectly still, all while riding the edge, the technique describing keeping the trigger on his .50 caliber bolt action sniper rifle ...

Hello, and welcome to the site ^_^. This story reminds me of my own. Not really in content (although there are similarities), but in writing style. The style you have ...

Hello Myth ^_^. Just a quick crit of The Beginning, ‘Behind them were the tops of trees and few chimneys, in the far distant was a clock tower’ - The ...

Hello ^_^. ‘Jimmy, a country boy lived with his grandma. Jimmy was only nine and had already seen or known the world a lot, though he never understood his Grandma ...