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Re: Because I'm Gangsta!
That was so funny. Seriously. People at my school don't say "gangsta," though. They have this thing where they say "gangSTAR" instead of gangsta or gangster. Back to your piece ...
May 12, 2008 -
Re: This is a Suicide Poem
I agree with RiDarling. This is a beautiful poem. I love where you put the line breaks. I never would have thought of putting there but you did, and it ...
May 12, 2008 -
Re: The Forest Of Sunset
This is pretty good except you forgot about the basics of dialogue. Each time a new person/animal/thing talks you are supposed to start a new paragraph. Example: "Hi," Blake said. ...
May 12, 2008 -
Re: Memories Before
The part about black death seems overused to me and random. That's the only part I dislike. I love this part. Dancing on the rolling green hills, I haven't ever ...
May 12, 2008 -
Re: Them
Oh, I like this free verse poem! Everything in this poem is unique--I haven't read anything like this. I especially like this part: Self centered, obnoxious, insulting little comments spew ...
May 12, 2008 -
Re: rape....
I agree with Demeter. She pointed out a few spelling errors. Self-esteem ends with e-s-t-e-e-m. Not a-s-t-e-e-m. You took away our friendship, You stole my self-asteem, You hurt me on ...
May 12, 2008 -
Re: Losing Love
This was lovely. I like the rhyme scheme (A, A, B, B). The only comment I have is the punctuation. I think you have too much. You've captured my heart ...
May 12, 2008 -
Re: If a man's born to soar
First off that was a beautiful poem. I love the title. I chose to read this poem because, one, I saw it in the Featured Works thing in the front ...
May 12, 2008 -
Re: Eighth (And LAST) Chapter of Wrong or Right
I have to agree with Flame11. I couldn't exactly tell what the revenge was. Was it making Chad think that Calix and Eric were doing IT for an hour? Oh, ...
May 12, 2008 -
Re: Chap. 7/Part 2 of Wrong or Right
“So,” Eric broke the silence. I think that would be better as “So ... ” Eric broke the silence. "Eric broke the silence" doesn't sound much of a tag to ...
May 12, 2008 -
Re: In war, victory is a vision
I liked this free verse poem a lot. It's a weak way to describe it but this poem that had erratic line breaks (or perhaps it only seems like to ...
May 10, 2008 -
Re: Part 1 of Chapter 7
That was, once again, really good. Just one thing on grammar. :] Chad burst in just then , “Hey, guys. I gotta go. I need to make an appointment with ...
May 9, 2008 -
Re: Star Wars
Welcome to Young Writers Society. I agree with deafwriter_19 and SuicideKing. But enough with the rule-breaking business. I'll give you a review. I'm kind of a harsh reviewer so don't ...
May 8, 2008 -
Re: The Lily
Looks like scasha pointed out most of the critiques I was also thinking of. I love the start and end of this piece of writing. And I like how you ...
May 8, 2008 -
Re: Life
Welcome to Young Writers Society. This is an interesting poem. I, too, don't mind the negativity as long as it fits. And it does. Try condensing some of the lines, ...
May 8, 2008
