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Re: Critques
Don't worry, it's good. *thumbs up* Just keep at it.
Oct 5, 2007 -
Re: Always Silent
Why is the MC in school if he's invisible? Why doesn't he skip? And how did he become invisible?
Oct 5, 2007 -
Re: The Human Empire
Why is everybody getting into vampires? It shows up all over the place!
Oct 4, 2007 -
Re: Era and the Lost Child
Ah, more about the shipwreck! What caused it? How did the strangers come to resuce Era?
Oct 4, 2007 -
Re: Fox on the Plain
Thanks. That kitten is so funny :D
Oct 4, 2007 -
Re: Giant Wolves/Elements Ch. 1
It's good. A few errors, like once you spelled Nami as Name. That's about all.
Oct 3, 2007 -
Re: A Better Road
A love poem? It does tell a good story, but lacks anything emotionally. Or maybe that's just me. Revise the first few stanzas. Give us more solid description.
Oct 3, 2007 -
Re: Grandad's Bench
Well, I don't know about italics. The whole thing flowed smoothly, with no questions coming to mind. Good job, Lizzy.
Oct 3, 2007 -
Re: Lyllan 2
K, this needs some work. "He rose an eyebrow" does not work. It should be raised. And did you spell James differently, or is it a new name?
Oct 3, 2007 -
Re: The Hive
It's my opinion, but I think you should spell out the numbers. Don't start a sentence with a numeral.
Oct 3, 2007 -
Re: My Werewolf Story Prologue
Suspenseful. I like it. The description could use work though.
Oct 2, 2007 -
Re: Giant Wolves - the beginning
Great job. But please break it up.
Oct 1, 2007 -
Re: Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse
Gulp. Werewolves and vampires and fiends, oh my! Is it a horror series?
Sep 30, 2007 -
Re: Redwall Series
I like it too. I just heard that there's a new book called Eulaia coming out. So, I love Mattimeo, Triss and Loamhedge. The idea of going through so much ...
Sep 30, 2007 -
Re: Fool's Duel: Changers
I'm detecting a hint of British grammar here. The one quote mark for direct quotes, spelling center as 'centre.'
Sep 30, 2007