Stori

What I liked- the cats' names. They're different from the usual Warriors names but follow the same tradition. What I didn't like- some of the dialog is more modern and ...

In the top line you say the guy left 'five years ago' but the bottom says 'three.'

Hi there. I'll just review some gramar points. 'Why do you not feel me?, Never put a comma after a question mark. Although, that might have been a typo.

Not much advice here, but I'd just like to say, that was great.

Ok, this isn't very helpful. But I was listening to a song called "Fly Away Tonight." Great music for this.

One thing: you mention that she buys contacts so she'll look "like a normal human." Since this is journal, wouldn't she admit why her eyes aren't "normal?" Kyte

You have a good thing here. But you never said what the narrator looked like. *shrugs* It's not that important, but...

Ok, I spotted an error: I haven't did anything to make them laugh at me. Should be, "haven't done anything." And trust me, I've been there.

Ok, ok. Now, really I have a section on her "real life," so I'll post that next.

Thank you, TP! I have a bit more stuff I'm working on, so I'll post when I have a suitable next chapter.

It kinda sounds like Javier is trying to do the girl in. I mean, she doesn't know her own name, and he says, "It worked!"

This is tale that will smear you with scarlet red Might want to say "This is a tale..." A very spooky beginning, though.

Nice one singer. so the things that I own, are sure enoug mine should be "enough."

That was good, real good. My white cat licks my hand, I wake up from my daydream, And walk away from the sandman. Kinda jars with the rhythm, maybe try ...

Ok, I have a small point. My father cremated the remains, under the concerned eye of myself and the flock of ravens... If the hut burned down with Mom in ...