StoneHeart

Hey man, this looks like it'd make a great SB, just make sure that you post it there, otherwise it will probably be deleted. Make sure you ask participators to ...

Interesting . . . I have a brother named Isaac, I can almost seem him in this guys position, sobering her up like that. That's just soooo Isaac. A friend ...

Okay, this really needs work. I'm really seeing the 'draft' part coming in. You make no use of your periods, practically nothing is capitalized. . . and that, I'm going ...

Apollo? What's with him? I'd advise spreading this out a bit. It would make reading easier, needless to say make it look bigger, which it could sure use. :D You ...

Was this weird or what? I really don't know Nate or Rydia (Yet), so I don't know if they mind you writing a fan fic for them ^^. You might ...

Okay, another great chapter. It was more enthralling and capturing than previous ones as well. However, I advise you to make 'her' a bit of a better person, and not ...

Okay this was even better than any of your previous chapters. By a good bit. Your grammar is much better, and your style is more . . . real. I ...

Hmmm, I'm getting interested in 'her' powers. But I still have no idea what/who she is. And that doesn't really work. Your grammar is much better in this chapter, I ...

Okay, this was great. However, I really think you need more detail to your story. I know, I've said this like six times in the past few minutes, but really. ...

Okay, your unfamiliarity is showing through in this badly. Your grammar needs a deal of work, and it's rather hard to understand what's going on. You know, there is a ...

Okay, this really reminds me of the Mud People section in The Sword of Truth books for some reason, maybe the style of living? But great work, the idea is ...

WoW, that's all I can say about your grammar. The idea seems COMPLETELY original. A goblin family . . . Awesome...! To tell you the truth I've never really even ...

Okay, he meets a new guy, and tells him who he is. Isn't this in the middle of a crazy, chaotic war? I sure got that impression. You, ahem, I, ...

Okay, this had a bit of a negative change from your previous chapter. Sorry :/ The mark of the inexperienced writer is the speed at which they write, reading your ...

Okay, now this is the type of a chapter I'd expect to find in the middle of a book maybe. Seriously, this ending, it's too dramatic to be the end ...