Squall

Hi Eleinasari, I believe I did promised you a critique some time ago but I've been busy so I couldn't get to it till now. Here I go. I don't ...

Hi PenguinAttack. Onto my critique. I'll make it short and sweet. I think it was alright, but you need to expand on the theme a lot more. You have only ...

Sup girl. Prepare yourself "cracks knuckles". I will not bother with a line to line since you already have some. I would have to sadly disagree with the above critiques ...

When I first read this, I noticed your writing style has matured and is very fludic to read. Your descriptions riveted well and are neatly linked to your character. This ...

Alright first things first. I have to agree with Adam with one thing. You need to put your character's thoughts in italics or you'll be giving your reader (like me) ...

I did promise to critque this and so I will. When I first read it, I noticed this was very well written. I like how you use adjectives to create ...

Hey Chey. Since I'm a part of this, I should be critting it eh. A little advice: Don't end a sentence then start a new line. It makes it a ...

Hi SOPF, remember me? First of all, is this only part of the prologue, or is it just the whole thing. If it is the whole thing, it feels short. ...

if they didn't, what happened next was their fault, really. If not "if" I married the first slut I met once I was 18. I liked this bit. It summarizes ...

Ok the piece itself felt rushed and it is plagued with cliches. I'll tell you why. The first line itself felt generic for a fantasy. It was like this evil ...

Ele and Tin had pretty much covered what I was going to say so I'll just give you my personal critque. I liked how the first sentence was simple and ...

I really like this. I tried to sing it in my head and it has that rap kind of vibe in it. You've made important points that if you were ...

Hi Mat. I noticed as I read through this is that you info dump a bit but the way you did it is well connected to the story and it ...

Kitty stared down into the murky, cavernous well. Auk...not a very good way to grab your reader's attention. I mean in a Simpsons episode where Marge is writing a novel ...

Hi Gadi. When I first read it, the piece reminds me of a bit of Resident Evil. Anyway, onto my critque. Once all the dogs were dead and the virus ...