Squall

Hey there. I threw my friends lives away so that I would be safe. They were nothing to me; I just dropped them in the dust, like nothing. A war ...

Hey there JC. I did say that I'm going to read the 2nd chapter XD. I closed my eyes, but something about the footsteps made them weird. Made me listen ...

Hey there. The random bleep of items being scanned echoed through the large, marble-tiled grocery store. Why do you need to be so wordy about a bar code being scanned ...

Hey there. I assume you've played Majora's Mask? "points to your avatar" The times were simple. To the east lay the great sea, and to the west the great mountains. ...

Hey there. Here I am, gnawing on some Possum-y thing, when the sudden, human thought popped into my head. Not a good start. I mean can you describe what the ...

Hey there. This is not a cliff hanger, this is more of an incomplete piece of writing. From this piece, you stated there is a ring filled with power (LOTR ...

Hey there. The first thing I noticed is this piece is way too short. There is not enough information/ showing for serious readers to really get a good idea of ...

Hey there JC, sorry that I haven't reviewed this earlier, I was busy. My heart sank. I knew it was coming, but still, every time somebody actually wanted to talk ...

Hey Timea, I've already talked to you about it on MSN. Here is a little critique of it on here. I already said the first line is cliche; why a ...

Hey there. When I read this poem, I felt that it went off in all directions and there really wasn't anything exciting about it. How exactly does a river cry? ...

Hey there. As the bright picturesque sun lit their face I found myself mesmerised, I had never experienced a feeling of such an idealist nature. Not really a good hook. ...

Hey Adam. The hesitance boomed like a fog horn. I'm not really a fan of this simile; how is a fog horn related to the title of "heat"? That sharp ...

I love how when somebody even just mentions Eragon/Paolini we all just jump at it =D It's so amazing. Following what she said, I'm sure there are other authors who ...

Hey there. This is a free critique that you get for participating the contest. Enjoy. Sparks popped into being, fireflies breaking free and surviving for a few seconds before being ...

Hey there JCobsesed :D When you turned your head to hear my voice, or brought your hands to your face for the first time. I cried in joy for you, ...