-
Re: Beta - Chapter 1
Hey there Sheik. Welcome to YWS. Good to see another Legend of Zelda fan. Legend of Zelda for the win! :D Anyways, I've printed this out so that I could ...
Nov 30, 2008 -
Re: Enigmus Ch. #1
Hey there Penguin, are you one of PenguinAttack's troops? It was a village that was completely dependent on the surrounding environment; its rich oceans and thick evergreen forests gave it ...
Nov 30, 2008 -
Re: StoweAway [two]
Hey Jared. The sunlight sprinkled over East Bristol, England, like sugar sprinkled over a cake. The dawn cracked over the horizon, and the small city was illuminated from the dark ...
Nov 30, 2008 -
Re: Here It Goes Again. Another YWS FanFic
Haha. Instructors and mods vs noobs. Anyways, the representation of mods seem off. They lack that sense of authority to them. They seemed more like normal members to me. Also, ...
Nov 30, 2008 -
Re: Already Won Me
Hey there Lilymoore, how are you? Welcome to YWS and I hope you'll enjoy your stay here. I watched him coyly, silently, nearly predatorily. Try not to use adverbs too ...
Nov 30, 2008 -
Re: Chapter One : The Canaby Sisters
Ok Wisemann, I did say that I'll have a look at the start. The Canaby sisters were far from the land of Topia and had to act quickly if they ...
Nov 29, 2008 -
Re: The Handkerchief
Hey Castles. Lost voices echoing back and forth like the hypnotizing lull of an artist’s paintbrush. Does the sound of a brush being applied to a canvas produce a sound ...
Nov 29, 2008 -
Re: Mother
Hey Conrad, this is for the NZ contest since you were the winner of it :) It was a picture right out of mythology, or poetry even. It took Brant's ...
Nov 29, 2008 -
Re: The Timekeeper - Prologue
Hello Cocoboy, and welcome to YWS. Is that a Penguin clashing the symbols on top of a polar bear? “No. It can’t be like this. Not now. Please, not now. ...
Nov 29, 2008 -
Re: The Crossover Chapter 1.
Hey there Krazyshooter, and welcome to YWS. I won't be giving a line to line for this piece as I think your problem lies more within its execution. Let me ...
Nov 29, 2008 -
Re: Chapter Ten -- Childhood
Hey there Wiseman. I have not read the other chapters to this, I'm only reviewing this as a separate chapter. She sat in the grass with a blue and white-frilled ...
Nov 29, 2008 -
Re: Silvery Whispers - Part Two
Hey there Inkboy, I'm back. The gate to the convent, unlike everything else in the little town of Kyrii, reflected the old Gothic style from the Golden Age. Maybe give ...
Nov 29, 2008 -
Re: Broken - 1
I'm back Castles. They swirl in clear brown liquid. Green-feathered ballerinas waltzing around a ballroom of white china. As the water disappears, they plummet. Careful, you already used "waltz" at ...
Nov 29, 2008 -
Re: A Broken Promise.
Hey Kaylyn. My tears are bitter, Salty from sadness. My anger makes My face hot. Err is it not obvious that tears are salty and that anger makes your face ...
Nov 28, 2008 -
Re: Broken - Prologue
Hey Castles, thought I should owe you a critique. Firstly, I'll just add in some of my line by line's. Her throat closed up as her breathing cut short and ...
Nov 28, 2008
