SpiritedWolfe

Hia there, again! Because you have yet to insert any of my 'words of wisdom' from the last critique, I realize there would still be some of the same issues ...

Hi there! I'm here, finally. I did discuss with you how the first sentence wasn't very strong, but then comes the second paragraph, which wasn't that strong either. The sentences ...

Hello again, Zee ~ Hope I'm not too late. Alright, so the first thing that I wanted to touch on while reading through this was about ellipses. It's not a ...

Hey there! I apologize for not reading previous parts, but let's see if I can help anyway! To start it off, I like what you're doing here, having everyone sort ...

Hello there! I apologize for not reading previous parts, but I will do my best to leave helpful critique anyway. Let's jump into it, shall we? First off, I notice ...

Hello again! Alright, so just like the last part, this was rather short and for the most part uneventful. Yes, we do get the information that Jessie is moving away, ...

Hello, there! I'll jump right into the critique. The first thing that I have to say is that a lot of your sentences are just fragments. Now, I totally understand ...

Hello there! I recall you did review Syrin and I'm here to help out some. I apologize, though, that I do not have much background, but I'll try to help ...

Hey, there! Sorry that I haven't read the other chapters before this, but I'll see what I can do to help you out anyway~ My first area of critique is ...

Hey, Wolfie! Alright, to start the entire thing off, I'm super confused. I'm really big about chapter transitions and making sure they connect in some way, even with vagueness in ...

Hey there, CandyWizard! Here as promised ~ Let's see if I can turn this into a nice long review, shall we? (I will warn you right now, some of my ...

Hey again, Zee! Right off the bat, I'm starting to wonder how old these characters are? From the last one, I just assume that Bonnie is around fourteen or fifteen ...

Hey, Zee! One thing I notice is that this is rated for mature content, violence and language, also on the last chapter, but I don't see anything too terribly bad ...

Hey there, Zee! I'm going to say right now, I'm not reading other reviews, but I believe that if something is mentioned more than once that it's important and should ...

Hey, Rachel! Since you've got seven chapters all rolled into one here (and I don't know if this is the 'end-end' or not), I'll just take it slow and review ...