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Re: Chapter one. We are born sinners
Hi! Yes, this is a review... The most obvious problem with this title is that there is no story to go with it. Where did it go?? Not to tell ...
Jun 18, 2015 -
Re: The Clepsydra: Chapter 5 - Be wary of strangers
Wow that is a lot of words... whew! This story has a lot of unique quality. Very original, I like how clearly you were able to display the emotions of ...
Jun 16, 2015 -
Re: Shadow Princess (Chapter Two)
Hey! The way you build the story works pretty well. It's a common plot starter to run into the popular girl on the first day, but it was easily balanced ...
Jun 10, 2015 -
Re: Sisters and Phones
It's nice. There are a few grammatical errors although, it's not overwhelming yet hard to understand. Is there supposed to be some kind of moral or turning point to this ...
Jun 3, 2015 -
Re: OutKast: Symbols of War
This is really good so far. I haven't even read the intro and already OutKast drew me in. However there were a couple of grammatical errors and I can tell ...
Jun 2, 2015 -
Re: My Choice Piece
Your story could use a little more emotion. I don't mean like it's boring or anything just that the story don't really give a clear enough picture for the reader. ...
Jun 2, 2015 -
Re: Tallon chapter 1
This sounds like the beginning of a good story, your foreshadowing makes me want to know what is happening. There were only two things that confused me about your story ...
Jun 2, 2015
