Snoink

That's why you need to visit YWS more, m'dear. ;) And yay! New introduction! *pounces* I was on edge. The icy wind, biting cold, and that charmingly obnoxious, beautifully aggravating ...

Er... spelling. "I never knew..." And this doesn't make any sense: "But I keep thing" Fix it up and it'll be much nicer! :D

I think Lovely would be fine, as a noun. :D

HAHAH! I actually ADDED a word! Usually, I forget verbs, and when I reread it, it's like, " WHAT? " *is proud* Yes... this should, LMAO. It's a happier version ...

Hehe, I like it... Any idea how regular is this going to be? :) About as regular as sporadic can be. As sporadic as Geoffry the Rock? Maybe? *flails*

Yay, parody. ;) Welcome to the site, Michael!

Hahaha... oh dear. I never like Anne in the book. Let's see with you come up with here! :D

Well, I don't know. If you have random symbolism, without any story, then it is just fluffy imagery. What you want to do is incorporate the imagery into something tangible, ...

The language for the first part is biased towards the girl, talking about how she is so pitiable. Instead, try describing what makes her pitiable. Good luck with you and ...

It was too rushed. Try giving more of an explanation as to his disappearance.

Hmmm... Don't start with her in bed Start with her about to go to bed or something. That way, we get a better picture of who she is. Don't rely ...

Small comments... Describe more of the first part. How do the character say it? What is their general location? You don't need to go overboard on it, of course, but ...

Hehehe... he's seen it, but he considers it a poem which is infected with AIDS, or gangrene, so it's not worth his time to comment, LMAO. :D

What's this now? :?

XD Post your possible beginnings and let us choose! We can decide better than you. :P