Snoink

Thanks for the critiques! Kit>> I couldn't find the short story online, but I'll probably try an anthology in the library and see what it says. :P kitty15>> Hooray! I ...

...haha. Um... gross? I hope you move on to better projects. :P

Don't focus on how you feel. Focus on what has been done to you and make us feel your pain indirectly. So basically, what has "you" done to make the ...

...yeah. Try again?

To be far this isn't really the poem Whence critted. But I think we can all agree Adam's poem = doo doo poo poo. Don't sulk. :P *Thread Locked*

Holy crap, this is old. Write a revision of this poem again. I wanna see the difference. :D

These are my favorite lines: Red songs sung by blue girls meshed together The gangs are being brought together by dancing? Awesomeness!

Much better! Something to look out for... it seems like you wanted a more old-fashioned approach to dialogue and narrative, and for the most part you did that. However, there ...

As this is a discussion of the ethical implications of prenatal sex selection in China, the United Kingdom, and the United States, each with their own societal and government structures, ...

Though sex selection techniques have been around for millennia, they have never been this precise before, and that is beginning to make people concerned. As technology continues to progress, many ...

Hehehe, you have achieved your purpose of the poem, Fair Ari. ;)

Still, the lovely thing about this piece is it doesn't rely on the gender of Jean. ;) (And yes, I thought Jean was a girl too, lol.) Found something else... ...

Of course you should post the revisied edition here. That way, you don't have people critiquing the same thing five times.

O_o Very special... and disturbing.

Aww... this was cute. Though I think it would be better if you introduced the music aspect of it earlier. ;)