Snoink

Edited! Thank you once more for all your comments... they were very helpful. :) Hopefully, I made the relationship with the boy and the policeman a little bit more clearer. ...

*Moved to Other Fiction*

Ahh, this is much better! :D

I always knew that Daniel had vanity issues. Aw... but we love Danny! :D

Wait... aren't "bitches" females? Why are you refering to this guy as a bitch? Or maybe you got the wrong gender? It's kind of confusing.

*Moved to Nonfiction*

Hehe, but YWS is a little more strict about it. This is just a mite too revealing. ;) *rated R*

Moved to Narrative Poetry! :D

The rhymes are forced and, because you are concentrating on rhyming so much, there is no meaning behind the poem. Throw this away and try again. You can do better.

Aww... this is kind of sad. The only thing that really bugs me is that it seems to go from first person to third. So... is the narrator of the ...

And... now there is nothing to critique. LOCKED.

Who is your audience? :? The argument seems a little shaky, in any case.

Too bad not more men are pigs. The world would be a prettier place. But yeah. Too many weird rhymes! I must bash you on the head with a rhyming ...

Now it's not white and blue! :o What do you guys think?

Did I mention how awesome this is? Because it's awesome.