Published September 6, 2007
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141,378 Literary Works • 674,383 Reviews
I am ready for a woman president. THAT is what the last line means.
Hmm... This is cute? ^_~
But, at times the rhymes forced your line to do certain things that didn't make much sense, and so the poem didn't make sense. @_@ Don't lean so much onto your rhyme--first and foremost your poem should give a meaning and make sense, then your rhyming shows up. But don't let the rhyming force your meaning--like in lines like: Worn with pride, given by witches.
Also, what was with the last line...? That's kind of... out of place.
Ooh, I liked this, although sometimes I don't agree with the title. ^^
Men have their good days though. Good work... And sorry that I'm not giving any tips, as I cant think of anything bad to say.
Ooh, apart from the mention of punctuation. That is all.
You ought to.
I didn't like a lot of this; too many weird rhymes. However, I liked the bit about Jesus, Eve and Hilary. It was cute, funny, and made me laugh.
No problem, I'm glad I could help.
I LIKE IT! Thanks kitty.
Hehe. A very interesting poem, Reyu, but lose some of the rhyme and work on your rhythm. I must say the ending is awesome though and I love the general concept. Hmmm....
[Perhaps 'on this ageless case' would be smother.][I think this section is good but if you work on the flow and structure, it could be even better. I'd change that first bit so that you have something like -
'Most of all, not all men lie,
We do possess the skill to cry.
Was Jesus not a man like I?
He died for sins released by Eve;
All women be masters of weave --
Born only to deceive?'
Never give me time on a computer and four different types of poetry
Bwaha, that ending is FUNNY. But vote Obama.
I believe I am one of the non-pig males. While saying this kind of makes me a pig automatically, I don't care cause pigs are awesome.
Far too many weird rhymes, yes.
"Every man has stitches,
Worn with pride, given by witches."
Like that.
Too bad not more men are pigs. The world would be a prettier place.
But yeah. Too many weird rhymes! I must bash you on the head with a rhyming dictionary or something, because not all poetry has to have ending rhymes. And stuff.