Snoink

It wasn't that long... :P First of all, I liked it. It had a really poetic style which I liked (imagine that!) so I won't ask you to shorten your ...

Read it and proofread it, please. There are tons of spelling and grammatical errors. Since I've read some of your other work, I won't go on and on about the ...

Hmmm... not bad. So... you begin by describing the sun. Sun shining = good thing. After all, it means warmth and light, and we, as humans, like this. So it ...

Er... how was this the best day in your narrator's life? :? A couple of more details would make this much better. Right now, it strikes me as an outline.

Don't worry -- the mods are awesome. I didn't find it... realistic. Research abuse and how they affect the families. And evil and malicious... a character is never "full" of ...

"You are curious," said the ball. "I'm not sure, but it means that you want to know something, that you want to gain knowledge." The haze seemed to consider this, ...

...could it be? A piece of writing with no horrendous spelling errors, correct punctuation, and an interesting character being described in an interesting way? Have I died and gone to ...

Oh, we're going old school, aren't we? ;) The only thing that really bugs me is this part: “Oh my God, our parents our psychotic!” I told my best friend ...

I don't know... Compared to Sylvia Plath's Daddy (warning: the poem has strong language) this poem doesn't really seem too strong. You rely too much on clichés (i.e.: "Anger rages ...

The opening isn't quite that strong. The postal workers know you by name, And the seat-stealers at church cringe at the sight of you. The seat-stealers line just sounds too ...

This is a very pretty poem that makes me realize how cold it really is now... *watches snow falling* Now I know why Jennafina kept on recommending you to me, ...

I like the first stanza best, precisely because it was so disconnected. But halfway through, me, being the imbecile I am, lost track of the thoughts as the thoughts became ...

It reminds me of going to church. My church loves tormenting its congregation. :roll: No, but I did like it. It was just like going to church... without having to ...

I do like your writing. You have a very elegant style that lends itself well to poetry and storytelling. This poem has a subject that I have frequently thought about, ...

Yeah, I have to agree with Sarah. The titles given to every couple of paragraphs seemed to break up the flow... something you don't want. You have a really nice ...