Published February 18, 2006
for miles, there's nothing truly clear,
and there's no judgement targeting you.
here, only whispers survive long.
middle platform is one step down,
but the wished-for journey extends.
hope that there is no right,
that there is no wrong.
promises for eternity,
if only life suffices,
but no one's ever sure.
as long as there is no paradise,
there is no hell.
prophets and priests take their bows,
[self-]credit their achieved missions,
and deny all complacency.
the end in perpetually near,
and the chosen path has closed.
hope that there is no right,
that there is no wrong.
they search with lights off,
only to reveal that
there are no hidden secrets.
as long as fact is truth,
there is no paradise,
there is no hell.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
141,399 Literary Works • 674,390 Reviews
I like the first stanza best, precisely because it was so disconnected. But halfway through, me, being the imbecile I am, lost track of the thoughts as the thoughts became more structured and ended up being entirely lost. XD
But the first part is definitely pretty...
i liked this. it was a collection of rather disconnected or half finished phrases that all came together with that wonderful ending. my only complaint is that the phrases in the beginning were a bit too disconnected, and i'd suggest just filling them out with one or two more lines to complete these fuzzy ideas. it comes to together at the end well enough, though, so, untouched, it is still fine.