Snoink

Copy and paste: stupid humor but yet so funny, just like a rat mistaken from a bunny, the scratch and sniff sticker was invented by a geek, imagine all the ...

It doesn't flow properly. You're trying to use parallelism to achieve a fluid effect, which is good, but your words aren't going along. This is because of word choice. So... ...

Hahaha... um... doesn't work. It sounds like a girl wrote it. :P And don't ask me why it sounds like that... wait... I'll ask Grif. Yep. He says it sounds ...

The reason why this poem doesn't work out is because it's a bit of a grocery list. It seems like you're listing the reasons without being the least poetic. You ...

This poem is kind of... not up to your usual high standards. :P I like this line: "After bleeding from the sides where you used to touch me," Mostly because ...

A couple of issues straight off: use the spell checker. It may not be right all the time, but at least you would know how to spell "apartment." Next of ...

Hello! Okay, first of all, the second stanza is definitely the best. Unfortunately, it doesn't really fit with the other two stanzas. Eep! So let's look at the first and ...

I won't waste my time stating the obvious... that's you're an excellent writer with compelling fiction and the like. Instead, let's get picky. Some of them had been left. In ...

Things to think about: 1) You're not a bad writer. 2) It doesn't make sense to me that Lev is a painter. Maybe that he poses as a painter, but ...

Stuff you HAVE to fix This is the stuff that I found on one read-through. Haha. With that said, before you post something, you're probably going to want to read ...

Hmm... I like the idea and stuff, but I don't know. For one, in order to appreciate this poem, you have to think babies are ugly. Why? Because, if emotions ...

Hahaha, I read this! Okay. I don't know where Red Riding Hood comes up, but I do like the randomness of it all. Don't ask. It's a little vague in ...

YAY! I remember this story! I think I might have critiqued it? It's good to see you edit it! :D Okay, new comments! First of all, take out the prologue. ...

You know how much I love your writing, so I won't go on about it continuously, otherwise, I would be repetitious. ;) As for the story, I think that you ...

You know I critiqued this on TSR, so I won't bother trying to critique it again. I just want to tell you that this story has stuck in my head ...