Snoink

Ahh.. interesting beginning! I don't know... I suppose I'm a sucker for those stories with sea creatures. That's why I like "Jaws" so much. A couple of things to think ...

Mmmm... like the idea. The crowd cheers and jeers Cheers and jeers is very... clichéd. Change it to something/anything else. Trapped here in these cords No escape From the strings ...

Mmmm... fresh meat. Skye Jeffory had to sit in the Melbrooke Mental Hospital waiting room for what could easily seem like an hour but, based on the constant glances up ...

Copy and paste: stupid humor but yet so funny, just like a rat mistaken from a bunny, the scratch and sniff sticker was invented by a geek, imagine all the ...

It doesn't flow properly. You're trying to use parallelism to achieve a fluid effect, which is good, but your words aren't going along. This is because of word choice. So... ...

Hahaha... um... doesn't work. It sounds like a girl wrote it. :P And don't ask me why it sounds like that... wait... I'll ask Grif. Yep. He says it sounds ...

The reason why this poem doesn't work out is because it's a bit of a grocery list. It seems like you're listing the reasons without being the least poetic. You ...

This poem is kind of... not up to your usual high standards. :P I like this line: "After bleeding from the sides where you used to touch me," Mostly because ...

A couple of issues straight off: use the spell checker. It may not be right all the time, but at least you would know how to spell "apartment." Next of ...

Hello! Okay, first of all, the second stanza is definitely the best. Unfortunately, it doesn't really fit with the other two stanzas. Eep! So let's look at the first and ...

I won't waste my time stating the obvious... that's you're an excellent writer with compelling fiction and the like. Instead, let's get picky. Some of them had been left. In ...

Things to think about: 1) You're not a bad writer. 2) It doesn't make sense to me that Lev is a painter. Maybe that he poses as a painter, but ...

Stuff you HAVE to fix This is the stuff that I found on one read-through. Haha. With that said, before you post something, you're probably going to want to read ...

Hmm... I like the idea and stuff, but I don't know. For one, in order to appreciate this poem, you have to think babies are ugly. Why? Because, if emotions ...

Hahaha, I read this! Okay. I don't know where Red Riding Hood comes up, but I do like the randomness of it all. Don't ask. It's a little vague in ...