Snoink

First thing I noticed was that your poem relied too heavily adjectives and adverbs. Looking back at the poem, it's not that there's a lot of adjectives or adverbs... in ...

I liked the beginning sentence because it made me interested in why she was curled on the branch of a tree. The rest was... meh. First of all, maybe it's ...

Hmmm... I think the rhyming is a little too forced for this to work. Also, instead of just telling us what is happening, show it to us. What images could ...

Hehehe... it's time for a mad-lib critique! You know what that means. Fill in the spaces with the appropriate words and then see what this happens to your critique. Remember ...

Read this: WTF ... Please do not imitate this. The ending is too "omgthedooropenedbutshedidn'tseethemanoutside"-esque. Basically? Don't tell the readers, "OMG, LOOK! SEE??? THERE'S ACTION EVENTUALLY!"

*comes like a rain cloud* Okay, this time I'm not going to comment on the grammar or spelling. With that said, there ARE some grammatical errors, so you gotta watch ...

Pulchritudinous? Pulchritudinous? No. This is one of those instances where you're trying to spend a hundred dollars for something that take ten cents. Try another synonym of beautiful. Just not ...

Hello and ( once more) welcome to YWS! The first thing you want to do is check your spelling. I don't really want to waste my time on that, so ...

This was pretty and it reminded me of one of several worn places I had been to and absolutely loved. Though the others are right in that the conclusion wasn't ...

The ending should be "then" not "then." That typo just... slaughters the poem. O_o Anyway, I think at this point you're using too many adjectives or simple words to support ...

Very informative! Still... one thing bugged me. You brought up two points in your first paragraph: that the modern church has problems with it and that the beginning church had ...

Hello and welcome to YWS! :D As you probably guessed by now, we are kind of picky on spelling and grammar, so if you want to get any helpful comments ...

Don't rhyme. In fact, scrap the whole poem, scrape the rhymes, and try again. Good poetry doesn't have to rhyme. It just doesn't. If the rhyme comes out forced, then ...

Okay.. you definitely have a grasp on language and stuff so I'll just tell you that you have a potential to be a great poet (you being a good poet ...

It's rated properly, no worries! :D And... oOooo... interesting. The only thing that really bugs me is that the ending seems super quick, like you wanted to get away from ...