Snoink

Awww... the ending is so cute! This reminds me of Shel Silverstein or something similar, and that's good. ^_^ I think you should make your first stanza like the others ...

This was pretty cool because it asked questions instead of ranting about how horrible life was, which is really quite good, since there is too much of poetry out there ...

How odd! My favorite stanzas were even. I think I liked them the best because of the bowing trees and the dancing lilies. I mean, the rest of the description ...

Hehehe, I read this poem about winter and then yours! XD Anyway, I think you're being a little too obvious on your metaphors. I mean, I understand that you're trying ...

Lovely poem! ^___^ One thing I would recommend... in the third stanza, you used a lot of "and" words. And that's bad. I can understand repetition, to an extent, but ...

Gummy, you know I love you. But you have too many typos here for me to love this piece. And I don't care if it's supposed to be artistic, because ...

I liked it. ^_^ The only thing I didn't really like were the last two lines: he compresses the makings and offers me his creation. I think you can do ...

Aye, this is in outline form, almost painfully so. It's in the traditional fairytale form, but without the flourishes that I miss. :) And all the names together are sadly ...

OH. MY. GOSH. XD You must have been very very very very very VERY bored! But I think I like it when you're bored. You should totally write more. I ...

I like your dialogue. A lot. The conflict really comes out and I feel sorry for Hikari. But, while this is a lovely story, I don't think the play format ...

Okay! I must ask... how exactly did this poem kill a spider? XD But this poem is... weird. It reminds me slightly of a Beatles song in which John Lennon ...

Hehehe, you know I love you. ;) The dialogue between the girls sounds exactly like that -- dialogue between girls. I don't see them as being women, which is kind ...

Awww... this is so cute! I think this is my favorite poem from you so far. But that will probably change as you get more sophisticated and awesome. ;) But ...

I didn't comment on this? I thought I did! Shame on me, lol. Anyway, I think it's cool how you can just say, "Oh, this is one of my old ...

Ooo... I like this! :D One thing I would get rid of is the second stanza, "And so it begins" because it reminds me too much of LOTR. But I ...