Erroneous Love
I feel like giving up, feel that I'm not even enough
I feel like throwing in the towel
I feel like just' walking away
You know I love you girl you're a dream that's come true
I wanna be with you till like forever or till through on through
I don't want to wake up from this constant dream....
AN people say this is erroneous love or so it may seem
But people will say what they want
But still don't care what they say
An people will do what they like
But As long as your mine I'm still okay
'Cause I still love you, girl, an I just' want
Want everything you have to offer me
And to hear you call me 'your Hun'
If not me, I still want to see you happy
I'm tired of being alone; tired of secretly crying
Just' so sick of people kicking me when I'm down still I'm trying
To get back up to be beaten back down
When it just' feels like I'm punching brick walls
An if you think that alls alot, then we weren't meant to be
I just want some one nice who'd not make me cry
But that'd make me so happy and feel like I can fly
Erroneous love, to me there is no such thing
So say what you like but I might not agree
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,856 Reviews
Hmmm... I don't know. I like the poem in a weird way, because it's such a freewrite, but still... it doesn't seem to say a lot. I mean, it just rambles on like dialogue, which can be a good thing, if there is some climatic statement at the end of it, but there really isn't any climatic statement.
So figure out what is the purpose of the poem and then highlight it, using creative word choices and interesting metaphors. And then write it. Right now, it's falling apart. O_o