Snoink

Review day has ended, but alas! You're not about to get rid of me yet, hahaha. Some more things that jumped out at me... “You’re standing,” Carris blurted out in ...

OH. I SEE WHAT YOU MEAN BY OUT OF ORDER. Best wishes to you to fix this, hahaha. This is mildly confusing. :P Okay! So! Mal pushes her away... just ...

Okay, so back to what I was suggesting earlier... like if you wanted to condense this a bit and bring the coffee chapter into this chapter, you could totally throw ...

Hi! It's your favorite Snoinkster! Maybe \ she had seen it all wrong. I found a typo! :o Anyway, some thoughts... Okay, so... for the next couple of Carris's chapters, ...

Oh, hello again! :) Just some super quick comments this time... *Djoni – JO-NEE, *Dedimi – DEH—DIH-MY More world building notes! ;) Putting them upfront is a bit odd. Personally, ...

Oh, hello! I'm back! Just some quick thoughts now that I've seen this scene afresh... Carris was lost in thought as she barreled through the cabin door, a pail in ...

Oh, hello again! So, this passage jumped out at me this time when I was rereading it... mainly because I've been editing passages like this in my story, lol. Gobi ...

Oh, hello! I see you posted a bunch more so I am going to go back and reread some bits! Though, like... just some overall comments now that I've read ...

Hello, AmandaRose! :) Welcome to YWS! Okay, so first of all! I'm just going to focus on Chapter 1 in this review because... well... I don't want to overwhelm you, ...

Oooooh, I like the idea here that you have with the whole falling in love with the final draft and yet not seeing the potential in the first drafts, haha. ...

and isn't that all an awfully lot to pack into a jar of tomatoes? You have to make sure those cans are under a lot of pressure, after all! ;) ...

OH HELLO. (I told you I'd be back! :3) Okay! So! One extreme to another, lol. I actually... think this might be too slow? Like, I feel slightly hypocritical saying ...

OH HELLO. So, some thoughts! This first chapter is completely different from your first two reiterations of the chapter! It's honestly incredible how different the versions are. The first one ...

Hi Tikaya! Oh wow, this feels like I'm being dropped into a war. xD First off, it kind of felt like being dropped into a war movie with lots of ...

Yes! A happy ending! Cysts are annoying things. I'm glad you feel better. :D Okay so! Craft stuff! => I kind of loved it that it was just dark humor ...