Snoink

Hello! Okay this is going to be a quick 1955 check, since there are some historical inaccuracies... though perhaps there is some weird alternate universe going on? If there isn't... ...

...okay. I might have clicked this because I love swans to the point of writing obsessively about them and needed to read your poem. :) Anyway! Those girls are just ...

Oh, hello! :) This seems like a fantasy based more heavily on Slavic stuff, which is pretty cool... the snow, the way the people are described, the empress, and just... ...

Oh, hello! Welcome to YWS! So! Oh wow, this story... what a controversial beginning! Anyway, I have a ton of questions, so I'm just going to ask them. :) Ramses ...

Review day has ended, but alas! You're not about to get rid of me yet, hahaha. Some more things that jumped out at me... “You’re standing,” Carris blurted out in ...

OH. I SEE WHAT YOU MEAN BY OUT OF ORDER. Best wishes to you to fix this, hahaha. This is mildly confusing. :P Okay! So! Mal pushes her away... just ...

Okay, so back to what I was suggesting earlier... like if you wanted to condense this a bit and bring the coffee chapter into this chapter, you could totally throw ...

Hi! It's your favorite Snoinkster! Maybe \ she had seen it all wrong. I found a typo! :o Anyway, some thoughts... Okay, so... for the next couple of Carris's chapters, ...

Oh, hello again! :) Just some super quick comments this time... *Djoni – JO-NEE, *Dedimi – DEH—DIH-MY More world building notes! ;) Putting them upfront is a bit odd. Personally, ...

Oh, hello! I'm back! Just some quick thoughts now that I've seen this scene afresh... Carris was lost in thought as she barreled through the cabin door, a pail in ...

Oh, hello again! So, this passage jumped out at me this time when I was rereading it... mainly because I've been editing passages like this in my story, lol. Gobi ...

Oh, hello! I see you posted a bunch more so I am going to go back and reread some bits! Though, like... just some overall comments now that I've read ...

Hello, AmandaRose! :) Welcome to YWS! Okay, so first of all! I'm just going to focus on Chapter 1 in this review because... well... I don't want to overwhelm you, ...

Oooooh, I like the idea here that you have with the whole falling in love with the final draft and yet not seeing the potential in the first drafts, haha. ...

and isn't that all an awfully lot to pack into a jar of tomatoes? You have to make sure those cans are under a lot of pressure, after all! ;) ...