SimonCowellLuver

You don't really have a good structure in this poem. Also add some punctionuation or it seems to be one long ridiculous sentence. I'm sorry but that is what it ...

Exhaustion swept across Aedomir like a veil of fog. Sleep was not the problem, sickness was. His emotions, he could not present to Seridon. Death lingered obdurately at the back ...

I can find some punctuation mistakes but not a bid deal. But great story I loved it. It had touched me. Great content not rude or anything negative. Well expressed ...

Next he started cursing at them from the door as the guys were yelling at each other. I couldn’t take this crap anymore. “Shut the hell up and all of ...

I saw some grammatical errors in here bigbear. lets take a look see shall we... They’re always talking and never listen That line doesn't really make sense it sounds awkward. ...

I like this idea it could be a really good one to. But I think it could be longer and more action or more describing. I think you can add ...

I really like it. I think this will turn out to be a great song someday. kepp on writing and someday it will pay off. That's for sure. Have a ...

[quote="Twinflower"]I carry you in my bones, Drag you around in my chest; You are an unwanted stone Buried deep into my flesh. Where are you when I hear you should ...

Why is there repitition of the same 3 lines which are "Too much Too many So sick " It is kind of annoying of the repition but its ok i ...

Like the others said it was good. I enjoyed reading it. it was kind of cliche but still the whole poem was excellent. I just written a new poem also ...

I like it very well written and good content. I like it. I don't don't see anything that needs to be critiqued for right now so keep up the good ...

As the sun says goodbye the wonderful feeling starts to fade. and you almost start to cry but you remember the progress you’ve made. So you fall asleep with a ...

This was great penguin your a awesome writer. Great imagination, well written good job on editing it to. Well that is all i have to say bout it gotta go ...

so please, just take my hand, and let’s be honest here. This right here you can make "So please" combine with the second line because it isn't a real line. ...

I am a church goer my self i really like this. If you go to church do you read it there? If not you should it would give others inspiration ...