Shine

That was good...and descriptive. The only thing is in the begining the poem needs some more puntuations. Keep writing and posting! ~Ani~

Are u teaching some one A for apple and B for ball,in a different way? This was definately something weird a nd funny. Anyway try turning this into something else,that ...

Thanx!

hmm...pretty interesting uptil now.

Thats great!u don't neccesarily have to change it.:)

ok...probably the first girl to read it.lol It was pretty good and as Chairman suggested you do need to put some more adjectives,it will make it more interesting and good.

I knew that this poem didn't work well.:( Thanks for the suggestions Incandescence & electricbluemonkey.

Thanks guys! Prosithion:Thanks for your suggestion. bubblewrapped:I do understand what is wrong with it.Thanks for the advice.:) ~Ani~

Thanks for reviewing my work.

Its meaningful,its nice. I liked it. The flow of he lyric is good. I ask you to sing it out.;)

glad that you think it works well.:) Thank you to all.

Snoink said it all. I liked it but didn't get the last line. and yes should get rid of the brackets. Keep writing and posting. :)

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That was nice and descriptive. I am bad at critiqiuing.And also it didn't have anything to point out I suppose.

The poem was simple and good.:) Though I wanted somethig more out of it. The poem may need Claudette's corrections. Good job! ~Ani~