Quatrain: ”Betrayal of Caesar.”
The ides of March as they call it,
The Mighty Caesar was betrayed by his honorable friend
Brutus, Caesar’s Guardian spirit,
Made Caesar meet his end.
(Note: Based on the drama ‘Julius Caesar’.)
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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125,015 Literary Works • 672,847 Reviews
Thanks guys!
Prosithion:Thanks for your suggestion.
bubblewrapped:I do understand what is wrong with it.Thanks for the advice.
~Ani~
To be honest? I got nothing from this. I *know* about the Ides of March, I know it was Brutus, I know Caesar died. Whatever. Why should I care?
No, seriously. All this looks like to me is the summary of a history/literature class, and one which has been done many times before.
If I were you, I'd rethink your approach here and use some more emotion and imagery. As it stands, aside from the rhyming it's not really poetic. Be creative!
I dont mean to sound grumpy, and it's not like I'm an expert on quatrains, but I just found this kind of boring. Sorry.
I say that I'd have to agree with Phorcys. work a little on this and it could be really good. Make it longer. If it doesn't work mas a quatrain, don't write it that way. ^_^ Good luck.
It seemed a little forced rhyming...
I don't know what I'm talking about lol
... it and spirit are half-rhymes really. I just arnt sure, it just seemed a little cumbersome.
hehehe...Thanks ya for the critic.I thought that it is rhyming spirit and friend with end.
Thanks for reading it.
And thanks Nexus(glad u find it powerful) and T.
I belive there is rhyme in the flow. You can't see it. You must read it and listen t it. Only then will you be able to know.
Yes, but i still thought it was quite powerful.
I agree with Phorcys, and I didn't even really hear any rhythm.
I think Quatrains are the few occasions where a poem should rhyme. I didn't think this poem had a flow to it and was more of an overview than a poetic verse.