Shasta

I liked the poem, but I suggest you change the last line slightly so it reads a little more smoothly and dramatically. Instead of; "But you wouldn’t give me the ...

All in all, i liked this poem. For some reason, the line "casting a flickering shadow of feathery clouds" disrupted the poem a little for me. I'm also not sure ...

I, personally, didn't think the rhyming in this poem was that great and didn't really understand how the poem in its entirety was structured. The rhyming seemed unevenly done and ...

I like the general idea, but the poem just didn't seem to work at all. Please, if you want to rhyme, do it in a structured and rhythmic or at ...

I understand what you were trying to imply in this poem but the rhythm and wording just didn't work for me. First off, with the "eyes" and "cry" rhyme, well ...

I thought that this poem was, perhaps, a lot of confusing blur for a message of relative simplicity. It seemed to me that the underlying meaning really had to be ...

Well, it may be sweet, but I simply found the underlying idea and descriptions too unoriginal. Many of the rhymes were forced or simply fit poorly. Cured and blurred don't ...

I appreciated this poem and thought that it was pretty good. The metaphor was relatively simple, but elegantly so. I thought the poem was a little long for such a ...

I liked the message you were trying to convey here, but I thought the poem in general was a little inconsistent. The rhyming definitely seemed forced. The fact remains that ...

I like the idea, but you really need to fix the rhyme with ash and rehashed in the first stanza. Also, rhyming forth with henceforth is basically the same as ...

The rhyming pattern length was trivial and, I thought, interrupting in some places, but I am so critical on the topic of rhyming! I think it might help define the ...

I liked the basis and idea for this poem, but, could I critique the rhyming a little? (What's new?) Okay, to start with the first two lines don't really rhyme ...

I liked the flow and thought the piece was altogether very eloquent. I think the style was also very nice, with the one word ending and beginning and gradual change ...

I like the idea that inspired this poem, but I think the rhyming needs some help. It was obvious you were making an effort to rhyme at the beginning, but ...

I really liked the ideas and points in this poem, as well as how you applied them. I think that some of it was a little repetative, however. There were ...