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Re: Josiah
Whew. This was quite a piece. Emotional and difficult. Lets get the critique-y stuff out of the way: "she's slowly dying. Slowly losing her life." Unnecessarily repetitive. "This is happening, ...
Feb 2, 2014 -
Re: Ten Words
Very well done, I must say! My favorite part: " I tell myself to hold on, I say it everyday. I say it won't be long, Until you'll have to ...
Jun 1, 2013 -
Re: As free as a fly(Slightly Edited)
First impression: Oh dear gosh. Second impression: LOL Third impression: WHAT KIND OF CREATIVE MIND.... I admire this. I really do. It's wonderfully witty and fantastically fresh. I got on ...
Apr 23, 2013 -
Re: The Third Song
Lovely piece! Nitpicks first, then I'll give my general idea/impressions. There's a song you've heard before I hear it all the time, anymore And in a way, it's oddly funny ...
Jun 24, 2012 -
Re: Merp
Happy review day! Let's see what we can do here... I cross the road in hope That I'll be noticed by you I will do whatever To have you in ...
Jun 24, 2012 -
Re: Radiant Rachel
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ This was so adorable...and sad...and sweet....and sad....and adorable...did I mention sad? AW, this made me want to CRY. Anyways
Dec 19, 2011 -
Re: The Dev Files
This was absolutely gorgeous. I agree with Aliyah, it did seem a little hard to get through, but that can be easily fixed by one big thing: Punctuation. I was ...
Dec 9, 2011 -
Re: Seeing Jack
You said this could be something more....make it more! I want more! I can't be the only one, either. This is the perfect beginning to a slightly less short story. ...
Dec 9, 2011 -
Re: What if My Mom Finds Out?
I think this was fantastic, totally relatable. Just one little thing, and I'm pretty sure it's just me, and that's that it seems to just...end. Not a super strong conclusion ...
Dec 8, 2011 -
Re: What I Want and What I Need
This is beautifully worded and the indecision you as the narrator are facing is running off these stanzas like rain on a effortless, it sounds simply like a train of ...
Dec 6, 2011 -
Re: A Dream Once Srouded
To begin with, I think this poem flowed very nicely. I like the way you used this format. HOWEVER. There were several mistakes which I can only take are typos; ...
Nov 29, 2011 -
Re: A star across my chest
I used to walk passed a bluebird's nest, with a star across my chest. and I used to was passed a bluebird's nest, with a star across my chest. "Passed" ...
Nov 29, 2011 -
Re: Frisson
This was pretty cool. I LOVE days like those. I have ooone little nit-picky thing to point out, though: Days like this scare me just a little, After the adrenaline ...
Nov 29, 2011 -
Re: Dressed with a Tie
*finds the magic "adore" button and clicks about seventy three times* This was SO amazing! You went on at the beginning about how it didn't have any specific scheme in ...
Nov 27, 2011 -
Re: Literary Fantasies
Tee hee, A fellow fantasy lover...glad to hear your proud of it! Now, I do have one smaaaalll critique. It's really just a matter of opinion. I think that in ...
Nov 23, 2011
