Published November 23, 2011
My heart hides in Hogwarts,
My soul resides in Narnia,
My eyes look to Wonderland,
My ears listen for Atlantis.
Stuck in the Room of Requirement,
I've fallen down the rabbit hole.
Where oh where is Aslan
While I'm drowning in the sea?
Imagination is my only home -
I hide among the leafy pages
Searching for something
much more.
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140,216 Literary Works • 673,044 Reviews
I'm really sad that this isn't longer.
It was a pretty nifty tribute to some classic fiction, and the first verse was especially beautiful. Loving the subtle repetition and the rhythm of the piece as a whole. One thing I would say is to change the order a little, so the first verse matches the second in the topics you're talking about in each of the lines. It'll just make the verses a little more relevant to each other, if you know what I mean.
Also, please add in something to improve the ending. It wasn't bad, but the rhythm goes off a little, and it loses its beat and flow. Even if it's just:
it would be improved, but I think you could do better than that.
Overall, this was awesome! Really enjoyable, so thank you very much!
Tee hee, A fellow fantasy lover...glad to hear your proud of it!
Now, I do have one smaaaalll critique. It's really just a matter of opinion. I think that in your first stanza,
You should just change the order of the lines. You see how you wrote your heart/soul at the beginning, then your eyes and ears as the last two. It would make more sense in many peoples mind to make this little stanza a story of it's own- that is, follows a plot. Introduction, suspense, climax, resolution. Anybody would agree that hearts and souls are bigger ideas than eyes and ears. I would say that, "English Teacher"-ally speaking, a better way to organize this would be to put your ears, eyes, (now, that bit is a matter of your opinion: do you think eyes or ears are more important, and put the lesser first) heart, and soul.
This was really well done, I enjoyed reading it. It was lighthearted and fun, flowed well, and made me smile. I can't wait to read more from you!
I love it. This speaks to my inner fantasy nerd.
Because there is no better vacation from reality than through imagination!