The Third Song

Lovely piece! Nitpicks first, then I'll give my general idea/impressions.

There's a song you've heard before
I hear it all the time, anymore
And in a way, it's oddly funny
That it's the only way I sleep at night

This was a FANTASTIC opening. Except....there's always an "except" isn't there? That "anymore" is, quite frankly, confusing me. It just doesn't FIT. It could, with some careful rewording. A couple of suggestions from me not thinking too terribly hard about it are "It's all I ever hear anymore" or "I hear it forever, forevermore" (okay that second one not so much but you get the idea).
The last two lines I can kind of relate to. I can only go to sleep with music. That's probably way too literal of a comparison, since it's clearly chock full of metaphors, but pulling that out of it made me happy.

When it first touched my ears
It felt like water danced around with me
A sweet, sad dance bestowed on me
By the sole reason I stay awake at night

I really love the first two lines, but they aren't clicking right now. The flow is just a teensy bit off, making it not sound as pretty as it could. It has too many syllables. Removing the 'around' makes it sound worlds better all by itself, but I encourage you to play around with it for a while and see if you can't find a prettier way to phrase that.
Also, why is the dance sad? If you're using that phrasing to connect to the rest of the song and it's brokenheartedness, you should take that further. Up until this point you're all happy and sunshine and rainbows and "oh my goodness I'm in LOVE" and then you stick a 'sad' in there and I'm like "wut?"

I never found the song, you know
Its lack of words made it hard to do so
There were never words for you
But I would write them if you wanted me to

This stanza was absolutely beautiful. Again, there were a few issues with the phrasing. The first two lines especially, because the rhyme sounds rather forced. I'm a bit distracted now, so I can't think of a good alternative at the moment, but again I would encourage you to really mess around with it and find a different way to sing it.
The last two lines seemed a little off, but this time the fix was clear as day for me. "There were never words for you/but I'd write them if you asked me to." Can you hear the steadier flow, the easier rhythm? You don't have to change it, it works the way it is, but I honestly think it could work better.

In a CD player under my chair
Is the mix you made half a year ago
A message scrawled across the back
With the third song in set on repeat

in the second line, "six months" works just fine in every way I can imagine. Rhythm, sound, flow....it just works better, and it's no more or less poetic than half a year.
Also, reconsider the last line. I'm probably the only one who can see anything off with it, and I can't even pinpoint what I don't like about it, but whatever.

The clearest word in my mind
Is my own name encased in your voice
It was the last word that I heard from you
Proceeding the word "goodbye"

Very nice. It's just the last line. "Proceeding" makes no sense to me whatsoever. If you meant "preceding," then you ought to reword the rest of the stanza because to 'precede' means 'to come before'. If your name were to 'precede' the 'goodbye', then this person would have said 'Razcoon, goodbye' and therefore your name would NOT have been the last thing you heard. Or you could just replace it with 'following' and it would all be roses and Carebears forever.

I. LOVE. This. Piece. With this burning passion of finding one of those songs that you love at first listen and then listen to it on repeat for hours every day. It's that good. The idea is a little cliche, but I don't think there's anything wrong with that. So many good songs are so cliche it's not even funny but everyone loves them anyway. I think, though I'm no professional, that this song could end up as a one-hit wonder with the right connections. Extremely well-done. *applause*

Razzle Dazzle's come to Zazzle us with her Shuzazzle!

Okay, so these lyrics are pretty awesome. In fact, I'm having trouble coming up with overall comments, so I'm gonna go through stanza by stanza instead!

There's a song you've heard before
I hear it all the time, anymore
And in a way, it's oddly funny
That it's the only way I sleep at night

I like the opening line! Like, a lot. Line two, however, cancels it out. xD Ending in "anymore" sounds really forced and doesn't quite make sense where it is anyway. At least to me. The end of the stanza is fantastic, though. Definitely keeps me wondering why it's funny to the speaker!

When it first touched my ears
It felt like water danced around with me
A sweet, sad dance bestowed on me
By the sole reason I stay awake at night

I'm having trouble with that last line. I do hope it's just me. >< It kinda sounds... contradictory maybe? Compared with the first stanza. I dunno. It confused me! The first three lines sound pretty though, so I'm just having trouble what the stanza's trying to say.

Next stanza is incredibly cute. :3

I never found the song, you know
Its lack of words made it hard to do so
There were never words for you
But I would write them if you wanted me to

So now I'm confused. xD I thought the speaker was listening to the song? Like... they heard the song? And the person they're speaking to would recognize it. I guess I'm on the wrong track. (Which happens. xD)

In a CD player under my chair
Is the mix you made half a year ago
A message scrawled across the back
With the third song in set on repeat

More cute imagery! The last line, however, is a little awkwardly structured. The "in" throws me off. I have to reread it every time I get to this point. xD

The clearest word in my mind
Is my own name encased in your voice
It was the last word that I heard from you
Proceeding the word "goodbye"

This is totes sad and wraps the whole song nicely. I was going to say I didn't get line two, but lol, I got it. I'm just slow.

So now overall! I like it. It's very cute in a sad way. I think it's, in general, a bit confused with its thoughts and what message it's trying to express (or, more like, how to express it?) because by the end of the song, while I get this feeling of "awww," I still feel like I missed something. Maybe there's more metaphor/imagery than message. Or perhaps it feels disjointed because no one verse ties in with another?

You know, that might be it because the last verse, while beautifully done, still made me tilt my head. Now I'm thinking that it just doesn't tie in with any other part of the song, so there isn't a bow tied on top of this present you give your listener. If that makes sense?

I'm probably talking gibberish by now. xD It's a beautiful song, though. Some tweaking will help shape it up a bit, I think. I wish I could listen to it!

Keep writing!

Jabber, the One and Only!