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Sassafras

ReisePiecey

  • Poetry » Other, General Re: Ignorant Haiku

    Hello, Sumi! Great poem, really funny, but the only problem is that this isn't a haiku. I read the comments below mine though, and it seems that someone's already pointed ...

    Oct 27, 2013
  • Short Story » Realistic, Dramatic Re: East Gate Bridge

    Hello, confetti! May I just say that I absolutely love the opening. The imagery in it was amazing and captivating. The ending lines of the introduction invoke the right type ...

    Oct 27, 2013
  • Novel / Chapter » Narrative, Fantasy Re: The Unnamed one.

    Hello, Dreamy! First of all, I'm not sure if this was just an editing mistake or whatever, but I'm choosing to point it out anyway. I stepped out of my ...

    Oct 27, 2013
  • Poetry » General, General Re: loxahatchee lullabies

    Hello, ancientforever. When I first started reading this I have to admit that I nearly stopped. This poem definitely has a slow start, but the last couplet really makes it ...

    Oct 24, 2013
  • Novel / Chapter » Action / Adventure, Teen Fiction Re: Prologue of The USA Abattoir

    Hello, mephistophelesangel! First of everything, I suggest breaking this up into more sections. Opening up a story link and finding one giant paragraph is really off-putting. Nice and neat little ...

    Oct 24, 2013
  • Novel / Chapter » General, Mystery / Suspense Re: Secret Walls: Prologue

    Hello, Cecily. :D The first thing I noticed was that this prologue was comprised mostly of telling statements, which is not something that you want in a novel - especially ...

    Oct 6, 2013
  • Poetry » General, General Re: somethings and nothings and in betweens

    Hello, Persy. When I first tried to read this poem, it got away from me. I couldn't keep up with the words, my mind was scrabbled, and nothing made much ...

    Oct 6, 2013
  • Poetry » Narrative, Science Re: Crescent Landings

    Helo, Indee. Something about your poem is really appealing. I can't say what it is exactly, though, as they two stanzas didn't exactly fit together at first glance, and I ...

    May 26, 2013
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: Some Things

    Hello, Kiran. Usual disclaimer: I'm not really the best poetry editor. This will be mostly opinions and suggestions. Highlights Corrections There are some things in life That cannot be described ...

    May 26, 2013
  • Poetry » Culture, General Re: Vegas

    Hello, misstoria! Okay, now I'm going to give my usual disclaimer. I'm not a poetry savvy. Anything having to do with the grammatical workings of a poem, outside that placement ...

    May 26, 2013
  • Short Story » General, General Re: Mysterious Arrival

    Hello there, spacesolider. Whoa there, sweetheart, you've got absolutely no punctuation here. No problem, really, as I see that another has already pointed that out to you. I'm here, however, ...

    May 26, 2013
  • Novel / Chapter » Dramatic, Teen Fiction Re: Orphaned By Sea (Epilogue)

    Hello, Deli! "Mandy, don't worry about a thing , " Antonia whispered softly into Mandy's ear. All quotations, when exiting from speaking to narration, should be accompanied by a comma ...

    May 26, 2013
  • Poetry » General, General Re: Wish

    Hello, LLST. Happy Review Day! :) First, grammar. That's just the way things work with me. Now, let me warn you, I don't know much about the grammatical workings of ...

    May 26, 2013
  • Short Story » Realistic, Horror Re: Leaky Faucets.

    Hello, Emoticon. First of all, I want to start by saying I absolutely adore creepypasta and nosleep stories. I read them far more often than what can been seen as ...

    May 15, 2013
  • Short Story » Narrative, Other Re: The Mirror

    Hello Ingrid, Reise here to review. Corrections Removals/Highlights Let's jump right into it then. The first way , was that it was actually a three panel mirror, designed to show ...

    Jan 20, 2013


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