Sapphire

Don't worry about the length of the chapter if it's finished - I've read books with shorter chapters and, as long as every single one isn't only a page and ...

Hi! I thought this was brilliant. I only have a few suggestions for punctuation and rhythm (which was near-perfect). Yesterday I cried your name : Once, twice and once again. ...

I face your back, Imagining happiness on your face . I don't know if the repetition there was for effect, but I don't think it works. I don't even know ...

As everyone has already said, the best thing about this poem is the idea behind it - something as simple as a few touches removes these layers of pain. A ...

I don't know how I missed this before! I thought this was brilliant. I know you never wished as I did (no comma) On the night’s first star , Or ...

Hiya! Sorry I haven't been able to keep up with reviewing the story - you're flying through it! I have read it though, and felt this was the section I ...

Hey! This poem has a lot going for it, but I think some areas could use some editing. In my garden, flowers were like friends; with their sultry bodies, up-turned ...

The [s]maddening[/s] tinny sound of [s]tinny[/s] Christmas carols pulsate s out of the juke boxes scattered around her at the various stalls. People’s laughter echoes through the frosty air[s], wrac

You definitely shouldn't scrap this - it's a great idea, but it could use some work. Only the wind carrying [s]which carries the scent of[/s] summer’s last breath k nows ...

Hi! First of all, I like the title. It caught my eye and made me want to read your poem. I like the idea of the poem too, but I ...

The night has begun to cover the land like a thick, smothering duvet. It might be neater to say 'Night has begun to cover the world like a thick, smothering ...

Hey! Sorry this took a wee while! First, here are the basic points I picked out, like spelling or grammar: Their voices echo, loud, though the room, their ex c ...

Hi Gadi! Sorry this took a while! We’re watching The Jazz Singer on a Sunday morning, the rain snuffing out any energy in us, the little raindrops thrashing against the ...

I don't think it's bad at all! I really liked it, although I'm not sure who the speaker is addressing; my ideas about that changed every time I read the ...

Hi! I liked what you tried to do here, but I'm not sure the poem is quite 'there' yet. The first stepping stone to improvement is punctuation. In this case, ...