Sam

This is really very cool- but too short to full critique. So the only thing I'd do for now is get another word for chasm: you use it twice in ...

The poem rocks all, but you need to change a few things. 1. Get rid of the 'dot dot dot' at the end of the first two stanzas. It's slow ...

Yay! The idea is very cool (I'm a sucker for ghost stories :P), but your presentation needs a little work. Let's take a look, shall we? MORE DESCRIPTION, LESS DIALOGUE ...

This is really cool- it's kinda sweet, and you really brought out the little kid character out a lot. '"I sure do like lollipops, Doctor." ' I would change this ...

Ah, très magnifique. (And the French's not meant as an insult...:P) The last stanza is really cool, have to give you that. :wink:

This is really cool a) because a lot of people really get what you're saying and b) it's realistic. No 'I'll drop my boyfriend and make out with you the ...

It's kinda stereotypical. I'd try and flesh it out a bit [make it unique, too]: 'He then kissed her, their arms wrapped passionately around each other. And for that moment, ...

Wow, Emz... This is really cool. Why? 'Cause I feel exactly the same way. 'Maybe if you search those life-like dolls, you might find a switch – to switch them ...

Woah...I got like really lost and had to skim through the rest because I had no idea what was going on! Really try to distinguish your characters and make similar ...

Had fun, didja? :P 'Tis pretty cool...for an odd plot... Technical detail: My dog weighs about two hundred pounds, and he's about 3 times as big as a (fat:P) black ...

Ah, very nice. One thing irked me though: 'Captain McKenna rolled the body over with his foot and stared down at the clean cut on the man’s throat. “He’s good,” ...

Very nice. 'And then it came – the hardly audible sound of boots against the ground, but he felt the tremble against his pressed-down ear. Just over ten yards to ...

Actually, could just be my tastes, but I'd keep the formatting and spelling quirks as they are. Makes the poem a bit seems to me that people think that all ...

And why would homosexual characters be PG-13? (No denying Snoink would love to do this :P) Copy and paste this into your entry: Sep. 4th. 2007 5:00 P.M. Tuesday So. ...

Ah, have to agree with Emma. But I am in critique mode, so...therefore...:P ' it is raining hard, very hard.' Kinda clunky, since you repeat phrases in the other sentence. ...