Sam

This was quite good, I've gotta say! I really liked the way you put in his thoughts about her and then added in some real-action stuff to back him up. ...

Yeah, I have to agree. It's a good idea, but the last line you have read over a couple times before you get it. It's not the imagery...it's the way ...

'“Well, where do I go now? My parents won’t want me home yet” Thomas said out loud, resting his head against the sign post.' Argh...I hate it when writers do ...

She appears to be constantly readjusting her shawl at the beginning of each chapter...unless this is a trend that should be noted and will mean something later on the story, ...

OH NO! It's the OKAY alert! In Victorian England they would not have said 'okay'. (Yes, I learned this the hard way...) Find an appropriate replacement for it and then ...

Oooh...I most definitely have to give you points for originality. 1066? The Knights of Templar? Nearly unheard of in historical fiction. Good job on that, especially since the details from ...

It's interesting, to say the least. It's not all that detailed, but you get a good enough picture (so if you're going for a star project or whatever, I'd definitely ...

The one thing I noticed- wait, what just happened? Right. I didn't really notice anything, which isn't a good thing, especially since this is a truly life changing (at least ...

SEE? This would be an appropriate time for an: I told you so! Or not. It was a pretty good discussion anyway. :P 'A broad-chested tall man appeared beside him.' ...

HAHA! YES! Ari, quite literally, your writing is 'so shut up'. Good God. It was nostalgic and reflective but not overly Well-I'm-Eighty-Years-Old-And-Looking-Back-On-My-Glory-Days. YES!!!! 'He had bee

This is pretty good, it's just kind of hard to read since it's, quite frankly, grammatically screwed. Let's make it un-screwed, shall we? “I really don’t see the point in ...

NOOOOO!!! My dear friend, you've fallen into the trap of Well-This-Seems-Incomplete-But-I-Don't-Wanna-Put-Said-In-Here-Because-That's-A-No-No, as do most people. And when you've got pretty good materi

'But its body was numb. ' I somehow thought it was a shadow, and therefore incapable of having a body. But it could be just me. :P The whole piece ...

Calling your brother a 'guinness' isn't exactly nice. :wink: '"Sorry I pulled your hair. I only did it because I like you and I wanted to cover it up to ...

All right, answering to your plea for help (and to justify the inadequate response I typed back when I was young and stupid)... I'm listening to Death From Above 1979 ...