Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
Anyway let's get right to it,
I sat in the corner of my classroom. I was like every other 2nd grader, stupid. I slowly stood up and trotted toward my stout teacher.
"Umm, I think Genevieve is here." I said to my teacher Mrs. Martin.
"Honey, Genevieve doesn't come 'till the end of the day." she replied. "Now go back to the corner and think about what you have done."
I walked back to my original location. I slumped back into the corner. Bitch. That's all that fucking teacher is, a bitch I thought to myself.
Having ADD, I got up and stood next to Maria, the girl who caused me to go to the corner.
"Sorry I pulled your hair. I only did it because I like you and I wanted to cover it up to make it seem like I don't. Will you forgive me and be my girlfriend?"
Now I look back, I know why I got that note home. (and it was only a few weeks ago!)
Okay...this is an interesting one. I feel like the story you're trying to project here is pretty solid at its core there, but somehow you haven't really managed to properly nail the thing down because its kind of a bit rushed. As you read through this piece there is a distinct sense that you're sort of hitting a couple of these moments that you've got all planned out but when it comes to how things connect from one place to the other there's not much going on which makes this on the whole as an actual story a little bit more broken up than it needs to be.
Now besides the whole situation where this has kind of ended up flowing not as well as it should have, I think you do have a really nice idea here. Its not the sort of thing you see too terribly often mentioned in detail in a story and I think if you stopped to give this a little bit more depth as a piece you could really aim for something a lot more powerful and really work this into a very solid short story that can do a bit more than what this currently does.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
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