Rydia

The rhymes are forced in places and the rhythm is off. Maybe you should keep the idea but try to re-write this in a sonnet format. I mean the lines ...

I'll agree that parts were repetitive and I think this would look better if you split it into stanzas. That would also help you structure your ideas. Like Claudette says, ...

It wasn't too obvious that it was from the point of view of a kitten. In fact, if you hadn't have said I wouldn't have known. Other than that though, ...

This piece is full of raw emotion and I found it really easy to relate to what you was feeling because you described it so well. I do have a ...

I like it. The rhythm is fantastc, your vocabulary is good and your imagery is beautiful. I'm not so sure about the rhyming though. In some places it's brilliant and ...

Just a few typos to point out first... Dark-eyed aureate love descends From austere clouds I've never known, Weaving a framework of crackling flames Till my eyes flash and hiss ...

Ah. I just commented on this one on the welcome board. I guess I'll move my comments here and then you might want to delete your other one as there ...

It's a very good attempt. This structure is a great choice is you want to challenge yourself but it can be very restricting and rather repetitive if you're not careful. ...

Just a few comments... Super Boy has chosen to follow in the foot steps of his father, stopping crime and hearing the cry of the innocent. I think footsteps is ...

The other parts seemed to have some rather extensive critiques by Myth and others so I thought I'd just comment on this one... I stared at the building , a ...

A few suggestions for structure etc... I made a wish today; I wished my family didn't argue, That nobody was dead. I wished there was no fighting But I have ...

I closed my eyes, silently begging [Maybe hoping would be better here?] to wake up from the nightmare I assumed I was having. I was still struggling, but Lena was ...

The theme is nice but it's lacking a little description and I agree that parts of it were repetetive. I feel the lurge of a boat On this line, I ...

Ah... Don't get me started on debates about abortion... As for the poem, there's a good use of vocabulary, though perhaps a little too good. Some writers will look at ...

The poem is pretty but like Whence said, it's rather cliche. I'd like to see some really in depth imagery here and some thought provoking faults that you've found withing ...