Rydia

Hello again Phorcys. First, I'd like to congratulate you on another brilliant chapter. I love how you described the cabbie and the other members of Maver's group. You already have ...

I like the switches of perspective you have but I think you need to characterize more. Fin and Nox both seem to be rather similar in that they're both outcasts ...

This part was good and I'm glad you described the girl but it would be nice to know a little more about the room they're in too. Also, he can ...

This part was good and the new characters were nice but I agree that it wasn't the best. Some physical description of the girl would have been nice, rather than ...

I think this is my favourite part so far where your writing is concerned. Again, you need more descriptions but the interaction between your characters was good and the plot ...

Just a few general comments this time. I like your description of his hands and the scar and, of course, of your character. I'd like to know a little more ...

This was pretty good but you could add some more description and such to improve it. Here's a few specific points first - I would probably be disgraced, [I'd use ...

Wow. The plot line for this is really good. I'd like more description of the scenes and characters but this has an awful lot of potential. I particularly enjoyed the ...

I agree that a bit more description would be nice but it's good. Just a few points to add - Technical I: two point five out of five. “ Oh, ...

Hey Alice! Okay so first some general comments. I like your characters and how they interact with each other but I think that some of the language you use is ...

Awwww! Valery and Delucio are so sweet together. And they're both a touch twisted so that makes a perfect match =) Your descriptions are good and I love the two ...

Lol. Don't you love it when people read meaning in our poetry that we did not initially put there? This does feel really deep and I love that you've taken ...

Hello again, my friend. I see that you have made several changes and it is improved but some of the comments I made on the other piece are still relevant ...

I found this mildly amusing and it has the potential to be hilarious if you work on your structure and content. First, it needs some punctuation and I think I'm ...

This was good and you have some great characterization. I don't know if I'm supposed to dislike Chris but I get the feeling he's a bit of a coward and ...